[SlowlyISigh]

Hello, it's me again. I wanted to elaborate on something more specifically that I mentioned in my last thread, which was admittedly way too long winded. My best friend and I were talking yesterday, and she mentioned some of her friends that really annoy her. But, in the end, she always stays loyal to them. It made me realize how quickly I get annoyed, can't take anymore, and kick people to the curve. It seems so easy because all my friends are online; all I have to do is not talk to them anymore, or block them. Let me give you an example.

One of these people she mentioned is her ex-boyfriend. She says he means well, but he talks like a 5 year old (I'll elaborate what I mean in a minute) has no respect for her boundaries, and even once said that they were dating when they clearly weren't. What I mean by a five year old is that he acts all cutesy, as if he's some anime shota (basically, a Japanese adolescent with child-like qualities that people usually find endearing, at least in fiction) and calls her things like "you poop" and "you silly". She says she doesn't like all the constant I love you's and him acting like she can't take care of herself, yet he doesn't care and keeps on doing it. I got enraged just from hearing it. I probably would've cursed this guy out, made it a point to hurt his feelings for being such an inconsiderate, immature child, and never talked to him again. And yet, he drives her places because she can't use her shoulder, takes her out, etc.

My frustration with this particular person, I'm sure, comes from an almost identical experience I had. Told the person I wasn't interested in a relationship yet but we could be friends, and yet they kept typing *kisses* and even started talking about what our KIDS would look like. We hadn't even known each other for 24 hours, and I took the time to repeat why I wasn't interested. I was trying. I was being patient. But he wasn't respecting me, so he had to go. And yet he STILL wanted to whine and note me asking why, saying he didn't understand. Yet another person, within 24 hours, started talking about moving from the UK to my state, not even KNOWING what my state was, and acting like there was something between us. Oh, and he called me "butt face". Seriously? Am I dealing with toddlers or guys here?

Needless to say, I'm fed up, and the simplest annoyance will send me running for the hills. Then again, it seems just about everything and everyone annoys or otherwise bores me. I'm sure it's partly due to being frustrated all my life by my parents, having nowhere to turn, no friends to just hang with and let go of my stress. It also might be worse due to the fact that my aunt and uncle whom I'm staying with now just don't seem to understand that I'm not a very social person and I need time if I'm going to adjust. That's been taking a real toll on me. I always seem to figure out the answers to what's wrong with me, yet I can never seem to fix it. So...I guess my question is, HOW do I fix it? How do I, or should I, finally let someone in, even if they rack my ever-living nerves? And why? I've dealt with way too many people who "did things for me" or supposedly "had my best interests at heart" yet made me want to positively rip my hair out almost every time I talked to them. The only person I can stand to talk to is my best friend; she gives me everything I'd ever need in a friend, and she doesn't drive me up the wall hardly ever, so I know it's possible to meet someone like that. I just don't want to waste my time. At the same time, I suppose I don't want to be alone. I don't know. I can survive and take care of myself even if I'm miserable. I just don't know.

[kaliope]

if you are fine not being social, why do you need to let people in? there is no rule that you have to have friends. you have one, that is enough to meet your social needs. what you need to get a grip on is not letting the small things people do irritate you so much. quit letting people have so much power over you. don't sweat the small stuff. let yourself be at peace with who you are.