Hi everyone - I'm new!

I just wondered if anyone had any advice for me on a certain issue that's been dragging me down lately...it might seem a bit silly, but to me it's becoming a huge problem. I started a new job about 2 months ago in a restaurant, and have gotten along well with every single member of staff, male and female, except ONE. The second I met this guy, I sensed within an instant that we wouldn't get along. I don't know why, but it was the most tense, uncomfortable feeling and never in my life have I experienced it before. He's a very bullish, opinionated and aggressive guy, stubborn but often quite chatty and funny. Maybe it's a personality clash. But I developed a crush on him, and now it's become a deep infatuation that I can't shake. It's on my mind day and night, and on occasion interferes with my work because the atmosphere gets me down. The tension between us is so palpable I've been wondering whether others have noticed it and been gossiping too. I'm sure I'm not the only one who's picked up on it. Anyways, what really bothers me is his attitude towards me - standoffish, distant and half-hearted. He never makes an effort to speak to me, never looks at me unless there's a casual glance, if I need to squeeze past him he practically jumps out of the way so I don't touch him etc. very, very standoffish. Yet with EVERYONE else, he's perfectly nice. It really is just me. Whether I back off, or make an effort, he's always the same. Just the other night, I sat down with a girl-friend, him and his friends, and he was unbelievably rude. He ignored my jokes and conversation, talked over me with his friend as though to disregard me, yet still said goodbye when I was leaving. I don't get him. He seems to have a problem with me, but I can't imagine why. Even when I ask him something work-related, he doesn't help or open up, he'll just point me in the right direction and leave me to it. He used to push my buttons quite a bit, too, picking up on and digging at me regarding small workplace mistakes. It's like he was pushing my buttons - now, he just acts like I don't exist.

I'm crazy about this guy - these feelings are rare for me, and that's hard enough, but now it seems he's so bitter and distant towards me that it's even harder to keep liking him. It's quite unbearable. Anyone able to de-code his weird behaviour, please help!!

[Ionic]

FYI.
he s going through a normal "immune reaction", which means he probably wants to stay back for some thinking before other "movements".
not a bad sign, at least u r special in his eyes.

Why are you crazy about someone who is clearly not interested in you?

That's the deeper question.

I think figuring that out is way more important than trying to figure him out.

Because ...

Until we are "right" with ourselves, we'll never be able to be "right" with anybody else!

Originally Posted by Pfrog

Why are you crazy about someone who is clearly not interested in you?

That's the deeper question.

I think figuring that out is way more important than trying to figure him out.

Because ...

Until we are "right" with ourselves, we'll never be able to be "right" with anybody else!

Well, that was my problem - I'm not sure if he IS interested or not. There have signs both ways that I'm not able to figure out, which is why I'm asking for a little advice.

[healingme4me]

^^^
I am not certain, that's anything remotely close, to him, giving any indicators that he likes you, back.

Originally Posted by Rachel Rivers

The second I met this guy, I sensed within an instant that we wouldn't get along. I don't know why, but it was the most tense, uncomfortable feeling and never in my life have I experienced it before. He's a very bullish, opinionated and aggressive guy, stubborn but often quite chatty and funny.
Maybe it's a personality clash. But I developed a crush on him,

Anyways, what really bothers me is his attitude towards me - standoffish, distant and half-hearted. He never makes an effort to speak to me, never looks at me unless there's a casual glance, if I need to squeeze past him he practically jumps out of the way so I don't touch him etc. very, very standoffish. Yet with EVERYONE else, he's perfectly nice. It really is just me. Whether I back off, or make an effort, he's always the same. Just the other night, I sat down with a girl-friend, him and his friends, and he was unbelievably rude. He ignored my jokes and conversation, talked over me with his friend as though to disregard me, yet still said goodbye when I was leaving.
, he doesn't help or open up, he'll just point me in the right direction and leave me to it. He used to push my buttons quite a bit, too, picking up on and digging at me regarding small workplace mistakes. It's like he was pushing my buttons - now, he just acts like I don't exist.

I'm crazy about this guy - these feelings are rare for me, and that's hard enough, but now it seems he's so bitter and distant towards me that it's even harder to keep liking him. It's quite unbearable. Anyone able to de-code his weird behaviour, please help!!

I'd explore the part about you not understanding why he doesn't like you. As in, there's just some people, we aren't meant to mesh with. Advice, is to find someone who is showing signs of being interested in you. I am not sure, you can make him, be anything other than what he's being to you.

[FrayedEnds]

that's what is confusing me as well, Rachel.

Originally Posted by Rachel Rivers

The second I met this guy, I sensed within an instant that we wouldn't get along. I don't know why, but it was the most tense, uncomfortable feeling and never in my life have I experienced it before.

How did it flip from that^

Originally Posted by Rachel Rivers

I'm crazy about this guy

to that^
with all his crappy behavior in between? What do you even like about him? Is it just because he's ignoring you? I don't think you should have to 'work' at trying to have feelings for somebody that is giving you every reason to dislike him.

What are the signs that make you think he's interested in you?

Originally Posted by FrayedEnds

that's what is confusing me as well, Rachel.

How did it flip from that^

to that^
with all his crappy behavior in between? What do you even like about him? Is it just because he's ignoring you? I don't think you should have to 'work' at trying to have feelings for somebody that is giving you every reason to dislike him.

What are the signs that make you think he's interested in you?

Basically the tension and chemistry - but I could be misreading that. He can be polite when he wants to be, greeting me, saying goodbye, occasional glances etc. nothing major, just little things. Sometimes I get the feeling he might like me but is keeping me at a distance, but then, for the most part, I get the feeling he has a problem with me...it's odd. Like I said, I can't figure it out. Of course I don't like him BECAUSE he's ignoring me, I like him in spite of it :P