[crobb]

Ive been in my first relationship with my boyfriend for a year now.

The problems began when about 4 months in I found my boyfriend had been talking dirty to another guy on facebook, swapping dirty pictures with him and hiding our relationship status from him. I was completely heartbroken but after a lot of talking decided to forgive him and give him a second chance. He gave me full access to his facebook so i would trust him again and i thought everything was fine.

Now 6 months along the line, a few days ago on xmas eve I accidentally saw his twitter account logged in on my ipad, and sat and watched him talk inappropriately to another guy for 2 hours, ending with my boyfriend asking for a picture of his penis. I immediately told him it was over and no one would make a fool out of me twice, and he clearly hadn't learned his lesson.

Now he has told me he has deleted all his social media stuff and wont get them back, so he wont be tempted anymore as he made a stupid mistake because he was horny. He's incredibly sorry because he knows he has ruined such a good thing. I have told him its over and i need time to think about things, but this would mean giving him a third chance. Part of me thinks somewhere down the line he would be caught doing something else.

I do love him and we get along so well, which makes me question if it worth throwing everything away we had because of his mistakes. I know only i can decide what to do but I really want advice on whether it could ever work again? Can he be trusted?

thanks

ok so i was on the other side of this situation... i would send pics and get pics... plus sexually flirting with other woman etc... my girlfriend has found out everytime... and even though her trust for me has dwindled every time she looked past it. in no way did she accept or was happy about it, we still moved on this happened about the first 3 years we were together... no it wasnt like everyday but maybe 2 or 3 times... eventually i realized what i have and that i dont want to lose her and she was everything in a woman i ever needed and did not need the attention or to prove my social status or feed my ego any longer. all i needed was her. and lucky for me she stayed... i know she still is sketchy with things but i hide nothing from her... no hidden email addresses, one facebook page that is open to her, she can check my phone if she is ever suspicious, no password on my computer.. nothing is hidden... most people say that i need my privacy too... I say not if i want her to be my wife... only privacy i need from her is when im in the restroom!!! it now has been 5 yrs dec. 6 that we have been together and 2 years since the last photo and i am truly happy but.. there has to be complete honesty and cant hide anything for it to work... now i thought pics were bad but i recently found out my gf cheated on me... a one time affair... but now i am at a crossroads... shes sorry, feels dirty about it and wants nothing more than to make it right again........so for me, i wish it was pictures that i had to deal with.... so remember it can always be worse.... trust (can be earned back with time) honesty, and full disclosure (no secrets or getting upset when you are curious about something... if you got nothing to hide there is no problem) these are the only things that can make a relationship work... the rest depends on how strong you love the person, how good your relationship can be, and most important how much are you willing to put up with...

[Rose76]

It won't work. You'll just keep getting hurt.

[crobb]

thanks for the reply. its interesting to hear the other side of the issue. I guess I have to think do i want to be in the situation your Gf was, and end up doing something like cheating because i resented him. Or in the back of my mind just be waiting to discover him doing it again until he gets it out his system. I cant help but feel that would be a waste of my life i'd never get back.

[healingme4me]

Sounds curious about the sharing with men, not women. Is he exploring bisexuality?

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[shezbut]

Regardless of his sexuality preference/s, I would not be able to trust him to remain loyal. His past behavior speaks pretty loudly. He may be able to cover that side of himself for a couple of months or years...but it will come back again. There is a very strong chance of it recurring, imo, in a stronger way since he's cut out his online safety net.

[waiting4]

You're right and you're the only one who can decide. I tried and the third time hurt worse than either first two. nearly sapped me of everything. Had it to do over again, I would walk away.....the hurt of once then twice was bad, but the third time, I just felt like a fool, almost like I was 'asking for it' because the warning flags were planted directly at my feet and I had to fall over them, to try the third time.
My advice, for what it's worth....ignore your heart this time...give it a rest. If he really means it, in a few months (years) you may want to revisit, as he may want to. Don't let him believe he can walk on you, as mine did. It's your self respect that's in danger...not his.

[xany]

You deserve better. It's likely this will keep going.

[healingme4me]

There is the saying, "Exes are Exes for a Reason."

[HourHand]

This person seems incapable of keeping his word and respecting you. I would walk away from this. You have been extremely generous having given him a second chance, a third is ludicrous.

Let him have his penis pictures and all of the fun exploration he wants but get your heart out of the way. When his mind wants for a little excitement he sure doesn't think of you. Cut him loose, you will be the winner.

HourHand