[wills11]

I know this is long, but if you can provide anything, I'd be so thankful.
If you've ever had LDR or someone in Armed Forces, you'll be of extreme help. But I'm looking for ANY input!!

• I met a guy the first week of November. We became great friends VERY fast! Sharing deepest secrets we thought we'd take to the grave.
• Now, this was the ONLY time I have seen him as he was called back to his military base a couple days later. We've talked EVERY DAY (minus 2 times) since then.
• Sometime at the end of Nov. I developed stong, unexpected feelings for him. VERY STRONG. -- He is the most amazing person I've ever known. No one compares and ever will.
• I drove myself crazy wondering if he felt the same way. If his ex was completely out of the picture. He must have, because once he was deployed he made every effort to continue talking to me and our conversations always become more personal.
• Last week he told me he had deep feelings for me too and wanted to make sure I felt the exact same way. Explained to me his ex was psycho and he has absolutely no remaining feelings for him and never wants contact, ever. I poured my heart out to him.
• Unfortunately, he changed locations and was only part-way through telling me everything on his end.
• A initial discussion of what we'll do when he gets back and moving closer an all that also got interrupted.
• We've both mentioned how we felt like this was almost destined.

Now, I should be very happy. There were times in the past when he would say sweet things leading on that he liked me and I would be utterly giddy the entire day. On cloud 9. But I don't understand what is happening now. I don't feel like that, and I feel like I should :-/

I mean, this is literally MONTHS of waiting to see. It honestly worries me. I literally don't feel any excitement.

• My biggest fear is that now that I know I've "won" him, I won't care anymore and move on to the next challenge.
• On the other hand, I'm trying to affirm to myself that I don't feel on top of the world because what I'm actually feeling is RELIEF. There is no more staying up all night obsessing and analyzing.
• I also think perhaps it will remain a feeling of releif until I literally get to see him when he returns. The thought of that makes me smile.

I also considered the fact I've been very stressed at home and I'm feeling somewhat exhausted. So perhaps this has carried over into this realm. I figured if I caught up on sleep maybe I would be emotionally put back together. The past 2 days I've slept 20+ hours. I'm starting to feel physically better, but nothing yet emotionally.

The most I feel emotionally is worry, almost panic because I don't understand what's happening :_(
I know I'm not "over him" because I still worry about him, obsess over when he'll call next or if he's read an email, make notes of what I want to talk about, and I read past conversations. I can't see myself ever being without him. But I can honestly say the true feelings I had for him that I was feeling before the past week are definitely not as strong. Sometimes absent I think.

• The other morning I woke up and almost had a panic attack because I'm so worried about what I'm feeling. So I tell myself that obviously means I still care a lot about him. Feelings like this can't disappear overnight, can they??
• As a general, he's very busy. I rearranged my day around times I know he can usually call.
• I've literally dropped everything I've been doing before, even meetings, to talk when he calls.
• I've cried before over the thought of him not liking me. And I've been on the highest high. I've been through an emotional rollercoaster. I think maybe I really am just exhausted and those good feelings will come back.
• 2 days ago, he told me his little brother who died of Down's would've loved me. It gave me chills. So obviously there are still things there. Just not like they were before.
• I think maybe because I feel things so intensely, now that I know we're on the same page, maybe I'm just feeling what normal people feel and it feels like nothing to me lol
• I try to remind myself all the time about how I felt before. He means the world. Obvioulsy me being upset about feeling different still proves how much this means to me?

On what could be the "bright" side: I've noticed lack of feelings with other things. It's hard to get excited about my favorite songs or things like that. So it's not just this, I guess.

Someone help

[Travelinglady]

Hmmm, your just saying you are losing interest in things you used to like suggests to me that you might be getting depressed.

Just a comment, I'm not sure many relationships are at a "high" all the time. I suggest you try to see how things go when you get together with him again. It would be tough to be sure what's going on until that happens. Okay?