How to stop people from inviting themselves to stay at my house

I am an introvert and have social anxiety. I also live in a fairly large house with a nice guest bedroom and bathroom. Over the last year, it seems more and more of my friends (who I like a lot) have started assuming they can stay over in the guest room after we have plans (dinner, going to a sporting event, etc.)

I don't mind letting people stay over if they've been drinking or if the weather is bad and driving home would be hazardous but it's gotten to the point where one of my friends just assumes she can stay over if she doesn't feel like driving back home. I like her and we are good friends, but my introverted side just NEEDS to be alone after a long day of socializing. I like knowing I can wake up in my own space without having to be "on" again when a friend is over.

Similarly, my husband's friend (who lives in another state) has contacted him a few times asking if he and his fiancee can spend the weekend at our house. Neither one of us really wants to spend an entire weekend entertaining these people, but what's the etiquette here? He likes his friend but we don't know the fiancee at all, and it's not like they can't afford a hotel! I also really don't want to spend a weekend entertaining someone I've never met.

My house isn't a hotel! Should I just take out the guest bed and say we don't have a guest room anymore? I'm honestly considering it.

Sorry to hear that. There is no gracious way to describe how you feel to your friends and other people w/o sounding bad. I know how that feels as we have a guestroom and my parents always invite themselves over, and sometimes my husband's friends do too, ugh!

Anyways, here is a great solution if your husband is willing to go along with it, turn the guestroom into an office or a storage room. Problem solved! Hopefully your husband will be more understanding of your needs than that of anyone else.

Dismantling the guest bedroom sounds like a great idea. With your close friend who crashes for the night, could you simply be honest with her about needing space? I hope she doesn't ask to crash on your couch if you get rid of the bed!

Someone inviting themselves to stay at your house for the weekend is already way outside the good etiquette lines. I would just tell them no. "Sorry, we can't do that." I've used that line (or the variant "Sorry, I can't have house guests.") many times and no one has asked me to elaborate.

What I've found is that quite a few other people also dislike having house guests and no one has gotten upset with me for not hosting them.

I just point blank told people that I would love to see them but staying at my house won't work. I told them I'd gladly make reservations for them at a near by motel and we can meet after breakfast and spend the day together. Most people are too polite to ask why it will not work so I don't have to go any farther. If they do ask I would tell them I am not comfortable with overnight guests. It is surprising how many people decide not to visit when they learn they don't have a free place to stay.

As for my friend, I would use my "husband" excuse. Whenever I want to say no to something but I think it will hurt someone's feelings I always tell them my husbband objects. He doesn't mind because I let him use me for excuse if need be. It always works.

If you don't make people feel comfortable they will not want to stay with you. Just be police and friendly when you tell them no. After all, it is your house and you make the rules.

Sorry. Turned the guest bedroom into an office. I'll help you find a motel though.

Thanks guys. I don't want to actually turn the room into an office or anything because it is nice to have the extra space if we need it. We have a nice bed and the room is really bright and comfortable (I like to sit in there and read sometimes). If my husband or I get sick, one of us sleeps in there so we don't spread our germs. I might just tell people the room is being renovated or we've taken the bed out or something. The room is upstairs where guests don't generally go, so no one would really know...

As for the friend inviting himself over, there is a level of guilt there because he's my husband's childhood best friend and he recently asked my husband to be his best man. We've been telling him so far that we're just really busy and can't have weekend guests anytime in the near future (which is true! I have a stressful job). My husband is going out to visit him next month too, so I'm hoping that will maybe keep him at bay for a while.

Anyway, I'm glad I'm not the only one who isn't comfortable letting people crash at my house all the time.