[Milana]

I'm 34 female, I'm new here (Excuse me for my English as it is not my first language.)

Lately I feel like I'm becoming bitter and bitter when it comes to dating men. I think I have dated enough men yet not being successful to find the one so far. I usually go out on dates once in a month or less, but in the last a few times (with different people each time), I didn't even feel like telling them what I do for living. I have my full time job at a major company in the city and there's nothing to hide about it really. Also when a guy asked me which area I lived, I felt extremely uncomfortable telling him. He only asked like the name of my town....With this guy, there was a chance he may know someone I used to date about year ago and we ended up so badly, so I thought it had to do with the episode.

But I noticed I was doing about the same with someone online in a different country. I think something isn't right with me. Basically, I do not feel comfortable sharing my personal information with the men I date. On the other hand, I'm okay with telling people about my opinions and personalities and stuff. If someone asks me for my opinion on politics, philosophy, books, I have no problem conveying my thoughts. And it has started just recently. Does this mean I should take a break?

[Rose3]

It's important that you have identified some of the things that you do not like to share with these strangers (what you do for a living, where you live, personal information). I feel the same way and do not like being asked these questions. So try to prepare some responses that result in you feeling more comfortable, or ways to change the topics. It's important too that you have identified some of the things that you do feel comfortable discussing - opinions, books, politics. Keep in mind that these people out there can dump you at any time, so don't let them set you up with their manner of intrusiveness. And you ask if you should take a break - I say - sure - take a pause - to reflect on what's happening and how you feel about it, and what it is that you are aiming for, and what you find reasonable. I wonder why they are asking you about what you do for a living? I've had the same experience - and wondered if this was just general chatter, or is this a way to find out about your finances? If you find these questions to be overly intrusive - then what would be some suitable responses for them - could you ask "why do you ask?" or "that topic is off limits right now" or "that's personal information, so let's talk about something else please".

[vans1974]

Originally Posted by Milana

I'm 34 female, I'm new here (Excuse me for my English as it is not my first language.)

Lately I feel like I'm becoming bitter and bitter when it comes to dating men. I think I have dated enough men yet not being successful to find the one so far. I usually go out on dates once in a month or less, but in the last a few times (with different people each time), I didn't even feel like telling them what I do for living. I have my full time job at a major company in the city and there's nothing to hide about it really. Also when a guy asked me which area I lived, I felt extremely uncomfortable telling him. He only asked like the name of my town....With this guy, there was a chance he may know someone I used to date about year ago and we ended up so badly, so I thought it had to do with the episode.

But I noticed I was doing about the same with someone online in a different country. I think something isn't right with me. Basically, I do not feel comfortable sharing my personal information with the men I date. On the other hand, I'm okay with telling people about my opinions and personalities and stuff. If someone asks me for my opinion on politics, philosophy, books, I have no problem conveying my thoughts. And it has started just recently. Does this mean I should take a break?

Hey Milana, Sorry to hear! It sounds to me like a little anxiety and distrust is all! Best of luck!!

[hvert]

I don't think there is anything wrong with wanting to keep your privacy until you trust someone. Is it possible that the men you have been meeting lately are less trustworthy than people you have dated in the past? There's nothing wrong with taking a break if that is what your intuition is telling you to do.