[Michael53]

I divorced two and a half years ago. I met a really great woman who owns her own business 80 miles away in the city. She is very loving and strong willed. We dated for over a year and had a good relationship. We had a lot in common and our sex life was very good as well. She is 57 and I am 53.

The problems were her business kept her away for long periods and we only saw each other on the week ends and some times only two or three weekends per month. She has children from her marriage and I have one child living with me which complicated visits.

She wanted to get married and I said it would have to wait until our kids are a bit older and can adjust. With her business and not seeing each other too often we decided that marriage would not be practical right now. She said she could not wait around for me and we agreed to part as friends.

That was six months ago. Last month I met another woman who lives nearby. She is very pretty and is 46 years old. She has a good career and her child is grown and off at college.

We have dated several times and we seem to also have a lot in common. We talk for hours and the time seems to disappear. She has not given me any sort of commitment and said she needs some time to make sure we are truly right for each other.

Yesterday my former girlfriend called to see how things were going. She said she worried about me and misses me and thought we could meet for coffee some time soon.

My question is what should I do? I don't feel comfortable stringing either of them along.

[Rose3]

Just trying to understand about the decision that marriage would not be right now - who suggested this? (you wrote "we" decided). What are the ages of your kids (whose kids?), (as you've indicated that you wanted to wait until they are older)?
Sounds like the first girlfriend didn't want to wait, but she is still thinking about you and wants some contact. Whose idea was it to part as friends? (you've said "we" - so this isn't clear). Sounds like the newer woman has not made any commitment and wants more time to consider. In order that you feel comfortable in either of these relationships, perhaps you need to clarify for yourself what it is that you want (do you want to marry someone? what about the children? what to plan for? who else will be in your life?).

[fslim]

I agree. What you want will decide how you should proceed in this situation.