[Aiyana]

How do you cope when you know a relationship just can't work?

My best friend and I have lately started feeling more for each other than we should. We are extremely close, spend all our time together and can tell each other anything. We basically have a loving relationship, just without the sex. Yes, we are both single.

We have both admitted to stronger feelings but both of us are afraid to take it further. Neither of us wants to put our friendship at risk and then there is the age difference to take into account.

Lately this has been bugging me more and more - how do I stop these feelings and just enjoy the friendship we have? He is very important to me and I don't want to lose his friendship by doing things to drive him away.

[Melodic]

I'm not really sure I can give any good advice, but I just want to say that currently I am in a fairly unhealthy relationship, and both of us want friendship but I know it is not possible for me. Most of me wishes we never got to this stage, on the verge of ending it and losing each other completely (though neither are letting go). There are certain differences we didn't take into account that simply will not change. If you know it will never work out, then I don't think it's worth going through with it but at the same time I can understand how hard it is to bury feelings..

Perhaps both of you need some space to figure out how you feel? Either way, I guess open communication is best and obviously both of you have to be on the same page regardless of what you do.

Right before university, I began to date a guy who had been my best friend for about a year. It lasted less than five months. We stopped speaking after we broke up. I'm not saying that it can't work, I'm just saying that it is definitely a risk.

What's the age difference between you?

Have you ever really talked about this outright? Asked him the questions that you are asking us?

[hvert]

The only way I've been able to stop those feelings for a friend is to take a break from the friendship. When the attraction finally dissipates, I can go back to being friends.

I'm just curious, though - why are you so sure a relationship wouldn't work?

[Aiyana]

Yes, we have talked about it a lot lately, neither of us knows how to go on from here. All we both know is we don't want to lose the friendship. Our biggest fear, aside from trying and failing, is that we will need to take a break from each other until these feelings lessen.

The age difference is 15 years and one of the main reasons I am so sure a relationship won't work.