[15sscalzitti]

I am a very nosey teenager, and have been suspecting my mom to be cheating on my dad. I just looked at her phone and found some dirty/flirty texts with a man whom she just recently met. I went on to read some texts with her friends in order to get some info on this man. She told her friend they just kissed, which I find horrible. I have so much anger and hate right now, but I can not find the courage to confront my mom or dad. Im going crazy and I just feel completely alone, depressed, and sad. What should I do?

[curley]

Maybe you should confront your mom. Especially since you talked to her friend about it. I would ask her to stop or you will tell your dad!!! She will be mad at you I am sure. But knowing secrets like that are going to eat you up.
From now on.....keep your hands off her phone, unless you want to know what is up!! Sometimes it is best not to know!!!

[kaliope]

can you find the courage to text your mom and tell her that you read her texts and let her come to you to talk? it will eat you up inside if you don't talk to her about this. right now they have only kissed. talking to her now could stop an affair from taking place. welcome to psych central. you will find that we have several forums where you can post about your concerns and receive feedback from other members. you will get a lot of support here. again, welcome.

[healingme4me]

Sounds earth shattering for you, as anyone would expect a discovery like that, to be. Adults, do make mistakes that come with consequences. It's tough being thrust head first into an adult universe. It's probably better, to somehow confront your mom, and tell her how much this is hurting you.

Be prepared, as many people do this, for her to turn it around to the fact that you invaded her privacy. Just apologize for that err in judgment, and tell her, you'd like to keep to the topic, at hand.

It's easy, to point fingers, and vilify her, for what you may perceive, as shameful behavior. This is just symptomatic, that there's something not quite right about you mom's and dad's relationship, pretty much. Maybe, she's been unhappy, for years and years and this is newfound excitement, for her? Doesn't make it appropriate, but at some point, your parents are two human beings travelling this journey we call life.

You may want to consider some one on one counseling, to deal with the grief of losing the reality of a happy marriage, all these years between your parents.

[kipper-bang]

This has been a great shock for you, I'm sending you a big hug. Whatever you do, don't go to your dad with this news. Its hard to believe but your dad may already know about this other man, and he may even be ok with it. Things are obviously not good in their marriage so they may have made an agreement to see other people but stay together for you and any siblings you may have.

If you had not looked at your mums phone you may never have found out, and this 'affair' would have gone away without you knowing and being upset. But you cannot forget what you have seen and heard. Next time you and your mum are alone, explain it all to her. Apologise first for looking at her phone and then tell her everything.

I do hope it all goes well. As you grow older you will realise that sometimes adults make mistakes, or make unusual decisions in order to cope with unhappy marriages.

[hamster-bamster]

Talk to your school counselor. I bet he or she has dealt with such situations many times (since affairs are common and poorly protected iPhones are common as well). The counselor might have seen how different approaches worked out in the past, and advise you with the benefit of that knowledge.

[Purple80]

Talk to somebody, even your mom, but be prepared for her to be angry at you looking through her phone. It didn't cancel out what she might be doing but even so was the wrong thing to do.
But the damage is done and if you don't speak to her it will get blown up in your head and it may be nothing that serious that will blow over.

I hope you sort this soon.