[ha'aha'a]

Hello, this is my first post here on Psych Central! I have never been part of any forums before but urged myself to create an account for it would mean so much to me for any advice/consultation

My boyfriend and I have been together for a year and some months. We are in a long distance relationship due to me moving for school, so all we have is talking on the phone each night and emailing. I love him with absolutely EVERYTHING in me and so does he. He is diagnosed with OCD/Anxiety. The only problem with us is that we usually are fighting because we misunderstand one another over small things.

No one is ever right and no one is every wrong. We always treat one another as equal. But if I have a question- any question, or he is not clear to me with what he says, I ask him the details of his answer so I can understand where he is coming from and to just make everything clear for both of us.

I am not diagnosed with OCD, but I tend to exhibit his symptoms sometimes more than him.

I ask him questions and ask for details and he cannot take it. But mainly concerning questions on if how he would ever stray away from me again.

This is where my insecurities and skepticism come in because, when I first met him, he did not tell me that he had a girlfriend of many years. He said that they went down to a brother-sister kind of relationship and we completely over in all other sense, but they still hung together sometimes.

I found out a little later that he had relations with her one time while he said he devoted himself to me.

We talked so much about it- I mean talked SO much about it all! And I looked at his viewpoint and his details and we were able to fix things up.

But ever since I found that out, I have been a bit more skeptical than I was. I say I trust him but I guess I don't entirely, since I am sometimes pondering over things and asking him questions and telling him to explain things whenever I have something on my mind.

I tell myself I just have to trust him and know that everything will be ok as long as we love one another.

Just seems that our misunderstandings are occurring so frequently and it is my fault for my curiosity and my over-analysis of things.

When we argue he ends up on the verge of a breakdown and almost crying and I just end up full out crying. We always patch things up afterwards but I just want to limit these misunderstandings. They just really shouldn't be happening so much

We both over-analyze, we end up having a misunderstanding because we are both trying to get the other to see their viewpoint.

I hope this all makes sense, it just tears me down when we argue over things that need not be argued about! He is everything to me, my twin flame love (if you believe in that) and I just want more love and peace than misunderstandings. Time wasted on bad energy is the biggest waste!

Any help is sincerely appreciated!

[hvert]

You don't have to trust him, if your gut is telling you not to. It's definitely possible to fall in love with untrustworthy people.

If you really do forgive him for whatever happened before and trust him not to do it again, you should probably stop bringing it up with him. We don't have to tell our partners everything we are thinking, right?

Good luck!

[ha'aha'a]

I love your simple answer, hvert! Its true!