Treated my girl poorly; want to make it right

One more thing Melodic: How should I handle this situation, since you seem to have good insight? She said she''ll "call me this weekend" when we parted ways. I have to imagine the best thing I can do is really pull all the way off, let her contact me if she wants, and just focus on bettering myself and the other relationships in my life. Also, if she does contact me, should I just make a arrange a nice dinner (some special restaurant she's wanted to go to), but push it a few days back?

This is going to sound cocky, but I dismissed a lot of other girls because we were together obviously. When we were together last she actually got irritated that a girl "checked me out". She gets mad that girls text me, even if I don't text back. My other question: should I be considering talking to other girls? Or, do I owe it to her to wait a while?

Thanks for the clarification, I believe I understand a bit now. It seems she is actually questioning your compatibility and whether it is worth continuing with you.

I actually think that she may just not be right for you. Firstly, she clearly does not appreciate the side of you that comes out with your friend (drunk stupor/rude - I would not appreciate this either), and so you would have to suppress this side to please her, which wouldn't really be a bad thing IMO, but if that is truly how you act then it's going to be very difficult to change for her. Secondly, she requires someone who can read her and does not stress her out/upset her at all times - this is an enormous commitment and when does it get to the point where you can no longer handle walking on egg shells around her? Thirdly, she has serious doubts whether you are right for each other, and therefore can simply disappear every now and again, leaving you to wait and hope that she comes back. It sounds like you handle it quite well, but again, when does it get to the point where you've been hurt enough by her constant doubting and disappearing?

I suggest acting in a way depending on how much you think she is really worth all this. If you believe she is absolutely worth it and you are prepared to sacrifice your own certainty and wait patiently for her every time, then give her space, allow her to come back and call you, and hope that she truly sees that you are right for her. I must add that it is very commendable and positive that you have been able to be patient and there for her apart from these 2 occasions considering the fact she has snapped at you several times before.

However, if you can see that this is going to be a lot of work and you're not sure if she's worth it, I would definitely confront her about it. Just ask her up front whether she wants to be with you or whether you are wasting your time when she is so constantly uncertain about your compatibility. Assure her you will try to change but if she doesn't want to give you another chance then you will move on. Alternatively, you could just decide to walk away now, pre-emptively, to save yourself heartbreak, but tell her about it so she is aware of your decision. Either way you should continue to focus on yourself and your hobbies outside of her.

I don't think it really matters whether or not you arrange for a dinner, either way I doubt it will change her mind, but if you're optimistic she wants to give you another chance then certainly go ahead. I would not be communicating with other girls if you really want her back. However if you have made the final decision to walk away then I see no problem talking to other girls.

These are all just my opinions from reading your posts, I would not know exactly how she is thinking, so take my advice with caution.

Bingo. As much as it pains me to admit, I've been thinking that too. She was probably questioning it a bit and then I really ramped it up that one day. She's questioning... still (been a few days since we've spoke).

I don't ever want to be the person I was that day. I haven't been that person in ages. It doesn't even require me to change in my opinion, because it's just not me.

I went out and mingled last night. I'll be honest, my game is still sharp and I actually picked up 2 numbers. Every day that passes I care a bit less. I still have moments where I feel the anxiety.

I'm just really confused what I'm going to do when we speak next. It'll most likely be me driving to her place and her sitting in my care to talk. That's what it was last time. Last time we have a heart-to-heart and decided it was maintaining. We became closer than ever. That's why I'm not too quick to dismiss this as being over, but just because it happened once doesn't mean it will happen again.

I mean, isn't it normal for a girl in her 20s to question the man she's with, and a man to his woman? I know there's honey moon phases where that's not on the radar. All her friends are getting married and I think she's looking for a LTR, so it's pretty natural to want to pump the brakes and see how a guy acts -- not making excuses, it just seems natural.

I'm not overly optimistic, but I know I'll move on. I don't really care who breaks it off. I think if we do break it off, it'll probably be pretty mutual.

I just wish there was some way to make her miss me, aside from just making myself absent. It goes again what feels natural: to chase, chase, chase. I know the game though. I just gotta walk away for a while.