[Cchart]

Okay so I'm not sure which forum this fits best into so I'll try my luck here.
Okay, I'm a 21 year old female college student and I have been dating my boyfriend for almost 4 years. We'll call him "Brian". He is kind and trustworthy and wonderful. Before him I dated another guy for a little over a year. We'll call him "James". So James and I had a very intense relationship at a young age. We spent all of our time together and were very sexual. After a couple months James became very controlling about every aspect of my life. I lost all of my friends, got in fights daily with my parents, and spent a lot of my time crying. It was very straining on my life and it was very emotionally abusive. After 6 months my parents told me I couldn't date James anymore so being a dumb teenager I decided to have sex with James that night (stupid, I know). The sex was fine, he was kind and gentle. After that night we got in a huge argument because my outfit was "too revealing" and I decided not to have sex with him again but we continued to hook up and mess around basically everyday. Like I said it was a very intense and physical relationship. Eventually it became physically abusive so after a little while I was able to end it. I struggled with issues because of that for a while and I hookup up with other people trying to get over him. 6 months after James and I broke up, I met Brian and changed my ways and now we have been dating for about 4 years. I didn't talk to James for a long time but occasionally we will text but not anything much just kind of catching up then about 6 months ago I old him I was done talking to him at all even though it was so rare because it wasn't good for me or my relationship.
My relationship with Brian has never been as intense or physical as with James and at times it still throws me off. After about a year of dating, Brian and I had sex and have been doing so since then. His sex drive is not near what James's was which is also something I had to get used to. So anyways I am writing all of this because in the last year or so, everytime I mess around with Brian, even if it's not sex, I start crying during/after. Like full out balling and I can't hide i or stop it. It kinda freaks Brian out and he won't do stuff with me as often now.
Sidenote: I was never this way with James but with Brian I find that I like to be dominated kinda.
Anyways what does all this mean? It's freaking me out and I don't know what t do about it? Does my past have anything to do with it? If not sorry that this post is so long haha.

Thanks

Sound like James was dominating and something inside you liked that.

James is simply not sexually the kind of man that blows you away.

I can talk further on this, but PM me if you want to know.