[penguinh]

I've always been an independent person and I hate the idea that what's missing in one's life is another person that's supposed to make everything 'ok'. I understand the benefits of being in a relationship and the feelings associated with it but why can't we be enough for ourselves?

I hate having crushes because in my opinion, nobody should have that much control over my emotions and I. I have had issues with significant people in my life leaving me and I hate the feeling of not being in control. I guess I do tend to push people away as I move from crush to crush and friends to friends very fast but I also love very intensely. I guess I want to know how not to be completely vulnerable and lose everything once the relationship is over?

I believe that you have to be your own hero and at the end of the day, you only have yourself, you can't always be depending on a single person because they will leave one day. I want to be able to be open to relationships but I don't want it to consume me and be something that becomes my worth as a person. I don't want to lose everything when I lose the person. I want to have traits within myself that I can depend on. Please help??

[Rapunzel]

It is important to work on yourself, figuring out who you want to be and getting on the path at least to becoming that person, before you get into a serious relationship with someone you might want to share your life with. I would say that when you are enough for yourself, then you are ready for romance. You will have a much healthier relationship that way, not dependent but cooperative and mutually supportive. That way you won't be at risk to lose everything because you will have what you need.