[stefi91]

I've always been the one who has taken care of everyone else. And now I feel like I am going to be stuck with that job forever. When my parents get sick my siblings automatically call me and expect me to take over their care. I am in my early twenties and just want to be able to start my life. I have a college degree, but I have no job. This is because I can't get a job if everytime I have a prospect someone has to have my help. My best friend says I'm being taken advantage of, but how do you walk away and leave your parents to fend for themselves.

My mom has been sick for a while, but now she is acting a lot different. She has always been nice and extremely religious, but now she is cussing and just generally being mean. She has started to refer to me as the daughter who does nothing. And she makes me feel like I am less than my sister. Although my sister rarely helps. My best friends mom set me down yesterday and told me I should talk to her doctor because she thinks my mom may have some form of dementia. Outsiders are noticing this, but not my own siblings. With my depression already making me feel sad and guilty, I am having a lot of trouble with the way my mom is treating me. If I have a panic attack (which I have had for years) she says it's because I don't love her. This is not like my mom at all. And right now, I'm not sure how to deal with this.

[waiting4]

Originally Posted by stefi91

I've always been the one who has taken care of everyone else. And now I feel like I am going to be stuck with that job forever. When my parents get sick my siblings automatically call me and expect me to take over their care. I am in my early twenties and just want to be able to start my life. I have a college degree, but I have no job. This is because I can't get a job if everytime I have a prospect someone has to have my help. My best friend says I'm being taken advantage of, but how do you walk away and leave your parents to fend for themselves.

My mom has been sick for a while, but now she is acting a lot different. She has always been nice and extremely religious, but now she is cussing and just generally being mean. She has started to refer to me as the daughter who does nothing. And she makes me feel like I am less than my sister. Although my sister rarely helps. My best friends mom set me down yesterday and told me I should talk to her doctor because she thinks my mom may have some form of dementia. Outsiders are noticing this, but not my own siblings. With my depression already making me feel sad and guilty, I am having a lot of trouble with the way my mom is treating me. If I have a panic attack (which I have had for years) she says it's because I don't love her. This is not like my mom at all. And right now, I'm not sure how to deal with this.

I agree with your friends mom...your mother certainly needs to see her primary care physician right away...it could be dementia but it could also be a stroke or a series of them. In any case, she definately needs to go to the doctor. You really can't make any further decisions until after that happens.

Once the true state of her health is known, then you can have a little sit-down with members of your family and discuss how ALL of you are going to help with your mothers situation, because it is NOT fair that you are doing it all alone.

Take care

[Travelinglady]

Hey, stefi91, and again, welcome to Psych Central! I agree that your mom's drastic personality change likely shows that she has some sort of brain "illness" that is affecting her ability to control her thoughts and feelings. And she needs to go to a doctor pronto. I hope someone in your family or one of her friends will help you out in getting her there. She is not very likely to want to go on her own, believe you me!

All that said, I know it will be hard, but remember that this lady is not the woman you knew from the past. Her hurtful words and behaviors are not what she would be doing and saying, if she were okay.