[spaceid]

Hello all,

I have been having problems with depression and anxiety that has been exacerbated by my having trouble paying private loans I have through Sallie Mae. I am a full-time student who is graduating this May and these loans are from another school that I attended about 10 years ago. My loans from that school totaled about $150,000. Today they are about $250,000 because of interest and my having trouble paying them. I used up my in-school forbearance and they went into repayment in December with a monthly payment of $2400. I could only pay them $100 each month and they have been calling me up to 9 times a day (even sometimes on the weekends) for the last four months. Today I called them up to again try to get a new payment plan through them and was finally successful. It was REALLY hard for me to call them up and talk to them, but I was so proud of myself that I finally did it this morning. My payments have been cut in half (which is still too much, but I have to make do somehow) and it was really my only choice or go into default which would result i me being sued (they have tried to do this to me before). I am really in a no win situation, but this is the first time that I have felt like I had a handle over these loans in 9 years.

The problem is my boyfriend feels like I made a huge mistake and it really infuriates me that he cannot see how hard this was for me and that it is a good idea that I am taking responsibility for my loans. This isn't the first time I had done something that was hard for me to do, but I did it and expected him to be proud of me and, instead, he said I did it wrong. The reason I am writing about it here is because his dog died this morning and I even though he made me mad I didn't have the heart to take the conversation further. We have been together for 3 years and this is probably the third time I have felt that he disregarded something I did that made me feel good because it was hard for me. So I wouldn't say this is an everyday thing otherwise there is no way I would be with him.

I just need to get this out and I didn't know where else to turn. I'm so mad! My mom didn't have a good reaction either so I couldn't talk to her about how mad I was either. This is a tough situation, but I cannot run the risk of being sued or having more problems with my credit. I got my interests rates down to 1% and cut my payments in half, how is this a bad idea? Should I just wait to get sued and have such bad credit that I can't even get a $100 loan? I still have to come up with a monthly payment that is insane, but the weight on my shoulders is so much lighter. But of course I feel terrible because my boyfriend's dog just died and he is in a lot of pain and I'm mad at him. I shouldn't be mad at someone who has lost a pet. I know how it feels and it is one of the worst pains in the world.

Should I bring this up with him sometime in the future or should I just chalk it up to him being in a fragile emotional state?

[laralula]

You should feel really good about having the courage to make that phone call! I know how scary it can be to deal with collection people when you don't really know what you are entitled to ask for and whether they're going to be mean to you or help you out. I don't see how reducing your interest rate and payments can be a bad thing, maybe you will find a better solution in the future but this is still a great step for you so congrats!

Maybe your boyfriend was short with you because he is sad about his dog, it couldn't hurt to cut him a little slack if he's feeling down. You could let him and your mom know that you don't need them to agree with your decision but you would like to feel that they're proud of you for being proactive. Do they have any different suggestions instead of just telling you you did it wrong?

It might also help to talk to a non-profit credit counseling agency to find out about your options. The Dept. of Justice has a database of approved agencies that they use for bankruptcy cases, this might be a good place to start: U.S. Trustee Program/Dept. of Justice

Good luck!

[spaceid]

Thanks laralula!

I feel terrible complaining about this after what happened to his dog. I feel more level headed now. It was just a moment of too much emotion at once.

Thanks for the advice. I am currently taking a finance class now too. Hopefully that will help.