[Rayne Selene]

My boyfriend and I have bend dating for over three years. He's always been very sweet and attentive, takes me out, never lets me pay, never forgets an anniversary or anything. But lately I feel like we never go any deeper. I talk a lot, and a lot of times it's just to fill in the silence. Last night we went out, and I think he was stressed out about school, but I felt like I was talking to pole. He wasn't rude or mean or anything, it's just like we don't really talk about anything real. He recently started his own business and lately he spends all of his time working on things for that. We're in our early twenties, and I'm worried that this is going to become one of those relationships where he buries himself in work. I don't know what to do--he's really not doing anything wrong, he always sets aside time to spend with me, but only after I ask. We don't have any problems with intimacy, but again, it only happens when I instigate things. I guess I'm starting to feel like I'm the one who cares more and he's just...I don't know, really comfortable, or something. Is it wrong that I want to see passion from him? I try so hard, to look good, to finish everything like work and school so that I can have alone time with him, and I don't feel like he's trying nearly as hard as I am. I'm frustrated, bored, and tired...but I love him and I don't want to break up with him. I just want to figure out how to spark things again.
The other thing is, I recently got told I have bipolar disorder, and I've been struggling with it a LOT over the last year. I often feel very dark and depressed and even self-destructive, and this is something I'd really like to be able to talk with him about and be serious. But he can't be serious. He always kind of brushes me off and lightens the situation by joking or tickling me or something. I don't always want to be light and silly though, and I feel like he doesn't see the dark parts.

[Travelinglady]

Hi, Rayne Selene. I can understand your frustration with your boyfriend. I know this comparison might sound weird, but in a way he reminds me of my mother. She never seemed to want to hear my problems and was almost totally involved in her work. That really hurt. She just tried to make me laugh or sort of turn my upset feelings into a joke, too. Tickling someone when they don't want to be tickled can be considered abusive in my book.

Have you actually tried to tell your boyfriend how you feel? If he doesn't make an effort to change and to listen to you after that, then I suggest you really consider whether he is the one for you in the long run.

[Rose3]

Hopefully you have someone (like a professional) who can be of help for your depression and self-destructive feelings.