[nummy]

I shouldn't be asking, my therapist wants me away front his site...but....

What do you do when you have bipolar, just found out yourself, but have somebody you might want to date? When should they be told? Before dating? After one date? After four???

My instinct is to tell them before dating.

[trying2survive]

Originally Posted by nummy

I shouldn't be asking, my therapist wants me away front his site...but....

What do you do when you have bipolar, just found out yourself, but have somebody you might want to date? When should they be told? Before dating? After one date? After four???

My instinct is to tell them before dating.

i think i would tell them before this way everyone is one the same page.
no surprises and no misunderstandings.

[Raindropvampire]

I am very upfront but I still always waited until the second date. I figured if it didn't work out and there was no second date they didn't need to know my personal business. But a second date can lead to a third and so on so I figure I might as well be upfront and let them decide whether to continue.

For what it's worth I never had anyone freak out when I told them or say they couldn't date me because I was bipolar. I did have several ask if I took medication, how often I got manic, general explanation of what bipolar is etc.. but no freak outs or being dumped because of it so that was good

There is no "right" time -- whenever you feel comfortable, I suppose. My current boyfriend and I had been friends for 2 months when we started dating, and I told him during week 1 or 2. He'd had a chance to see me as I was -- flawed but independent, able to take care of myself, etc -- without my diagnosis clouding his perception. At the same time, I told him early enough such that (i) I wasn't being dishonest by withholding information, and (ii) he could walk away if the diagnosis was too much to take.

In general, I think weeks 2-4 are a good time to tell someone, but that's just my personal opinion. I don't count by dates, but rather, the duration that someone has gotten a chance to know me.