[Memol]

Hi there,

I am 22 years old and I have been with my boyfriend for over 3 years now. The problem I have is that my mom and my sister don't approve him. At first it was their idea for me to start dating him. They said that he is a good option for me and because he is a good student at university, he could help me with my courses. After about 2 years of being in the relationship, my mom and sister started telling me that it is enough and I should stop dating him. They think that his family's social value is not suited for our family. In other words, we are better than them. This really bothers me because it puts me in deep thoughts and I always think that if you like someone and that person makes you happy then stay with them. On random occasions, they randomly say "you can do better" or "he is not your type". It is like pouring water on fire.

Because they keep telling me these things, I now believe that he is not suited for me and this makes me argue with him a lot and it really effects our relationship. I have to see him everyday and without seeing him, my day just doesn't feel right. I am not sure if this is obsession or love. Sure he is not that good looking but it is the good heart that he has. He helps everybody. He feeds the homeless and does his best to solve problems.

I do definitely find some differences in us but I think that they are natural and it exists between all couples. Sometimes his attitude towards different situations makes me angry. I honestly don't know what to do anymore. I sometimes think that I was too young when I got into this relationship and I could have better opportunities. My mom says if you like him, then we will accept him because you have accepted him but this is obviously not the case. The things they say just bring negativity in our relationship because it affects my mood and the way I think of him.

Side note: My sister is 33 years old and she is not married yet. She has had few long term boyfriends but non of the relationships have worked out for her. She doesn't want me to turn out like her and she is being protective. I also don't want to turn out like her and I want to get married by the time I am 26.

I would appreciate any helpful comments

[kaliope]

hi memol
don't let your family get in the way of your happiness. if you like this guy, then like him. when you are feeling indifferent toward him, ask if it is really your feelings toward him or if you are being influenced by your family's opinions. you have invested a lot of time in this relationship. you know him better than your family does. of course you are going to have differences. the question is, can you live with those differences?welcome to psych central. you will find that we have several forums where you can post about your concerns and receive feedback from other members. you will get a lot of support here. again, welcome

[Travelinglady]

Hi and welcome to Psych Central! I know what you mean about families trying to intervene in relationships. What you really need to do is sit down and think about what YOU want. Do you really feel comfortable with him? Do you really want to keep him as a boyfriend?

That said, you are still young, and it might be good for you to date some more before settling down. But that is ultimately your decision.