There comes a point when you can’t blind yourself to reality anymore. It’s when you realize everything you can’t be, that you’re a person nobody wants. It’s then that you see your place in life, that you can never be part of a whole. You’ll always an incomplete half of something that doesn’t fit with anyone else.

This is that time for me. It’s time to start accepting the facts and stop dreaming of something that will never happen. I’m alone in this world. It’s an unchangeable fact of life, so I will embrace it. There is no point in rebelling against something that will never change and causing myself pain in the process.

I make this choice soundly, not driven by any emotion. It is a logical fact. So please don’t pity me or try to comfort me, because I don’t need comfort. It will be difficult to accept the fact that I don’t fit with anyone, but I will eventually. Maybe five or ten years from now, I won’t even think about it anymore. I’ll know and accept that I don’t belong.

I want to know how to cope with these facts. It is troublesome to deal with, yes, so how do I accept it sooner rather than later? And please, don't tell me that I shouldn't give up hope or other such speeches. I did not post this to receive that feedback.

Just give me tips on how to cope with my realization, that's all.

I know someone in his 40s who feels as you do, he still does not cope with it well. I wish you well.

Originally Posted by emomom

I know someone in his 40s who feels as you do, he still does not cope with it well. I wish you well.

It depends. When did he start? I'm 25, so by the time I'm in my 40's I should be completely okay with it.

I follow the Tibetan Buddhist teachings of Chogyam Trungpa as passed on by the Buddhist nun Pema Chodron.

[trying2survive]

Originally Posted by Lone Soldier

There comes a point when you can’t blind yourself to reality anymore. It’s when you realize everything you can’t be, that you’re a person nobody wants. It’s then that you see your place in life, that you can never be part of a whole. You’ll always an incomplete half of something that doesn’t fit with anyone else.

This is that time for me. It’s time to start accepting the facts and stop dreaming of something that will never happen. I’m alone in this world. It’s an unchangeable fact of life, so I will embrace it. There is no point in rebelling against something that will never change and causing myself pain in the process.

I make this choice soundly, not driven by any emotion. It is a logical fact. So please don’t pity me or try to comfort me, because I don’t need comfort. It will be difficult to accept the fact that I don’t fit with anyone, but I will eventually. Maybe five or ten years from now, I won’t even think about it anymore. I’ll know and accept that I don’t belong.

I want to know how to cope with these facts. It is troublesome to deal with, yes, so how do I accept it sooner rather than later? And please, don't tell me that I shouldn't give up hope or other such speeches. I did not post this to receive that feedback.

Just give me tips on how to cope with my realization, that's all.

lone soldier im not going to give you useless advice that will only antagonize you more
instead i will give you practical advice that will assist you.

1) first you need to accept your situation for what it is.
2) you want to take responsibility for where you are at
3) you need to realize that YOU and only YOU can improve your situation.
4) you need to stop beating yourself up for your perceived failures
5) accept the fact that YOU and only you are responsible for creating your reality..
6) you need to understand that you can change this right now, not tomorrow..not next week..now!

all of us are a part of a stupendous whole..including you.whether you perceive that you fit or not is irrelevant..you fit whether you accept it or you don't..each of us is an important piece of a puzzle..including you.

belittling yourself achieves nothing, there is much you can add..all of us..use your gifts and talents to help the whole & then and only then will you be happy..give this much thought

[Maria116]

Originally Posted by trying2survive

there is much you can add..all of us..use your gifts and talents to help the whole & then and only then will you be happy..give this much thought

This is actually true, it turns out. Today being Mother's Day (a day I really don't like because of a very painful experience that happened on this day 5 years ago, and it is also a day when many childless women feel like a waste of space), I bought myself comfort flowers as I always do on this day, and started texting my friends who are mothers "Happy Mother's Day." Well one of my friends texted me back: "Thank you, you are the one that helped me trust God when I was too worried about having a child in this broken world that we live in. I will always be grateful to you for that." This came as a surprise! I was like - what? Then she reminded me of a conversation we had years ago about faith, and she said that I told her (I remember none of that) that our faith is about putting trust in God no matter what or something like that. So now that her daughter is 5, I get this sweet message on the day of the year when I normally feel my crappiest.

Originally Posted by trying2survive

lone soldier im not going to give you useless advice that will only antagonize you more
instead i will give you practical advice that will assist you.

1) first you need to accept your situation for what it is.
2) you want to take responsibility for where you are at
3) you need to realize that YOU and only YOU can improve your situation.
4) you need to stop beating yourself up for your perceived failures
5) accept the fact that YOU and only you are responsible for creating your reality..
6) you need to understand that you can change this right now, not tomorrow..not next week..now!

all of us are a part of a stupendous whole..including you.whether you perceive that you fit or not is irrelevant..you fit whether you accept it or you don't..each of us is an important piece of a puzzle..including you.

belittling yourself achieves nothing, there is much you can add..all of us..use your gifts and talents to help the whole & then and only then will you be happy..give this much thought

I appreciate and thank you for the comment, I do. However, if you believe what you have just stated, then this is the path I have chosen. I choose not to try to improve anything, and I choose to believe that this reality shapes me and not the other way around. This is what I have chosen to do of my own volition. I choose to learn to be content with these beliefs, that I am worthless nothing incapable of doing anything for this world. I choose it all.

[RichardBrooks]

Originally Posted by Lone Soldier

There comes a point when you can’t blind yourself to reality anymore. It’s when you realize everything you can’t be, that you’re a person nobody wants. It’s then that you see your place in life, that you can never be part of a whole. You’ll always an incomplete half of something that doesn’t fit with anyone else.
...
I want to know how to cope with these facts. It is troublesome to deal with, yes, so how do I accept it sooner rather than later?

If being alone is the decision you have made/ realization you have come to, then embrace it. Who says you have to be part of a group to be whole? Aren't you a functioning human being?

Originally Posted by RichardBrooks

If being alone is the decision you have made/ realization you have come to, then embrace it. Who says you have to be part of a group to be whole? Aren't you a functioning human being?

Human, yes. Functioning, no. I'm a defective mess who will be lucky to break even on life's scale. I expect to be a substandard nothing even after I die, whatever happens afterwards.

[marmaduke]

Lone Soldier
This is that time for me. It’s time to start accepting the facts and stop dreaming of something that will never happen

I have struggled to accept all those things that will never happen for me. I accept it now. My dreams have gone.
I feel sorta numb.
Know how you feel.
I'm a bitter so & so.

Originally Posted by marmaduke

Lone Soldier
This is that time for me. It’s time to start accepting the facts and stop dreaming of something that will never happen

I have struggled to accept all those things that will never happen for me. I accept it now. My dreams have gone.
I feel sorta numb.
Know how you feel.
I'm a bitter so & so.

I don't know you, so I can't agree or disagree if that is right for you. All I can say is that is what I hope to achieve someday.

[marmaduke]

Originally Posted by Lone Soldier

I don't know you, so I can't agree or disagree if that is right for you. All I can say is that is what I hope to achieve someday.

So what do you hope to achieve?

Originally Posted by marmaduke

So what do you hope to achieve?

Nothing, honestly. I just want to do what we're meant to do: live and die. Life is pointless and trying to give it a point is no better than trying to be delusional. I don't believe in any afterlife, so why bother? I'd accept hell, though. Eternal pain and suffering sounds like my kind of place.