[tinkerbell2712]

Okay so this is a very long story, and knowing me it won't make very much sense but I'll try.

Around a month ago, me and my boyfriend got into trouble. We met online around 5 months ago, and skyped nearly every day. One Skype call...let's just say went a bit further than intended...if you get the idea. Slight problem, I'm 15, 16 in 2 months, he's just gone 18. My mother then found out. I am aware it was stupid, very very stupid but it's happened and there's nothing I can do about it now. My mother reported him to the police, who took my phone and laptop, I was asked to make a statement, i did but I defended him. Since then however my relationship with my family has turned non existent.

I was angry with my mother, as she'd contacted the police without speaking to me about what happened, however I understood. I thought it'd end there, that's she'd let the police do their job, but no. We heard nothing, I had no contact with him and it was driving me insane. He didn't know what was going on, i just suddenly stopped talking to him. Then I got a message, him saying he'd written to me 2 times but he was guessing I hadn't read them. After speaking (trying to anyway) to my mother she gave me the letters, after reading them, followed by a speech about how I'm selfish, and don't care about anyone else, and her crying. She proceeded to tell my how's she' d been through my bin, and found diary entries that I'd ripped out (it's a technique my old counseller told me to use). I'd written when I was angry, upset, hurt, but know she's taking them as the truths and using it against me. After this I get one more message from him, last night, saying I wouldn't hear from him for a while, because...my mother had phoned his parents and told them what was going on...that he loved me and for me not to forget that. That was the final straw with me. She called me a liar for contacting him, but there was nothing else I could do, she reads my diary, opens my post, lies to me, describes ways of killing him just to make me cry, doesn't like me reading which is my escape, complains when I try to talk to her, has a go when I don't, complains when I stay in my room, complains when I want to go out with my friends.

I broke her trust yes, I know that, but she seems to be taking pleasure in this. She doesn't want to realise that a boy will make me happy now, not just her. Of course I love my family, but as she told me herself, she hasn't liked my attitude since before I was with my first boyfriend, when I was 14! I'm not a 14 year old anymore. She's calling him a liar, because in the letters he'd said he was upset and panicky, but his dad said he wasn't that kinda person. My mum doesn't get that people act different around different people. She has had her fair share of relationship problems, and we told her that her ex was a cheat, she didn't listen, she punished us for it, but we are expected to change our minds for her. She tells me not to contact him, but does herself. He is the most amazing guy I've had the privilege of knowing. I do love him. I feel like I'm having to hold myself together, my family's distanced from me, he's gone, school holidays so nothing to stay busy with, diaries get read, phone gets confiscated. I'm prepared for whatever people are gonna say to me, that I'm stupid, or need to grow up, i just want advice, someone to talk to, I've been dealing with this in my head, because my own family won't speak to me (Sorry for the stupidly long essay by the way)



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[curley]

Tinkerbell, I am a bit confused by your posting. I am thinking you played show me yours I will show you mine on Skype! I really hope that this boy will not be in trouble cause that is not fair at all in this situation. I am sorry I do not understand why your family has distanced themselves from you over this incident ....
I am sorry your mom is reading your private diary. That is sad. But since you know your mom is invading your privacy I would be very careful leaving evidence of anything you do not want her to know.

[Rose3]

"she reads my diary, opens my post, lies to me, describes ways of killing him just to make me cry, doesn't like me reading which is my escape, complains when I try to talk to her, has a go when I don't, complains when I stay in my room, complains when I want to go out with my friends"
It's understandable that you feel annoyed that your privacy has been invaded, and about her complaining. What is this about her describing ways of killing him? Try to find some space for you to collect your thoughts about all this. And don't leave your diary where she'll find it.

[Nightside of Eden]

Since you're under 18 I can't tell you to get as far away from your toxic mother as you can, though I'd like to and I'm very sorry you have to deal with such invasions of your privacy. You need to keep your private diary and messages away from your mother. Switch to keeping your diary on a private, password-protected blog. Always delete your browsing history and cookies after visiting to make sure no one can find out about it. Create a new email account your mother doesn't know about, and again delete all record of it after each visit. If you have your own computer, boot password it so no one else can access it (typical account passwords are useless--any idiot can bypass them).