[Niky]

Because of my panic attacks and depression lately, my boyfriend and I have been havin some terrible arguments. It seems like I don't have any patience whatsoever. I feel just plain miserable. It seems like I hurt everywhere, and that leads to panic attacks and I just can't seem happy anymore. Why? and what can I do? I don't want to lose my b/f. We have been through a lot together and I'm not about to lose him.

[tiodlliwi]

I can relate to your situation. It is tough because I know that I have the ability to turn a really good day or night into a tear-feast or fight. II don't want to cry or be angry every night but I have a hard time just "being" and just "relaxing". Then I worry that our relationship is rocky and I will bring that up, then he gets sad and frustrated because he'll say for the hundreth time that we are okay, we're doing great, but that we can't sustain this degree of intensity all the time and that we need time to just be and have fun and live in the moment. Then I will calm down for the time being until the next whirlwind rolls through me and it's like I physically can't hold it in.

I am also very afraid to lose him. He is a great support in my life, particularly with anxiety. However, I feel like he's reaching a boiling point- like it sounds your bf might be. I think that the main thing to remember is that, while openness and honesty are very important in a relationship, we do not need to share everything What I mean by that is, if you are feeling scared and restless and highly anxious, it might be better to sometimes talk it out with a therapist or friend and not him every single time.

Not sure how much that helps and I know it is very difficult sometimes not to say to him, "Help me" or "I'm scared", etc. And I'm not suggesting you never share those feelings, I just think that it is hard for spouses if it's an everyday thing and that is the way they see you most often.

hi, Niky.....do you see a therapist or a Pdoc? maybe you can get some help from them......i'm sorry that this is affecting your relationship.....that always sucks.......love, pat

[(JD)]

I think if you can get into couples counseling, or read some books together on the subject, the would help. (((hugs)))