[nevs]

Before I being with asking for some advice I will give my background story. My boyfriend (lets call him g) and I have been dating for a little over three years. Before we got together I was seeing someone else, lets call him J. My relationship with J was purely sexual, it was basically a rebound/booty call that began about 6 months after my last relationship. G and I had been friends for 10 years by this time, and he wanted to date me, which I had mixed feelings about. At the time I just wanted to be alone and I already had someone who was satisfying me physically and I didn't want to be that girl that was seeing multiple guys at one time. I was very transparent and open with G about what was going on with J. G stuck around as a friend, and eventually J and I parted ways. G and I began a relationship, however I really didn't want it to be serious at the beginning. He kept at it and here we are 3 years later. Over the past 3 years we have had some issues with trust. I know that it stems from G's past relationships (every gf that he has ever had has cheated on him), and I know that how everything began with us has to have something to do with his insecurity. My problem is that he questions everything that I do. If im not near him he is suspicious of what I've been doing and who I've been hanging out with. At the beginning I was still hanging out with my friends, but now I don't go out or talk to anyone because I don't want to fight with him about it. We rarely see our friends (some of which is due to just the daily business of life) but when we do it's not usually an enjoyable situation for either of us, when we are around them he's so suspicious of a few of our guy friends that he wont even go to the bathroom by himself because he's afraid to leave me by myself. He fights with me about what im wearing, sometimes smells me when I get home, commenting that I smell like men's cologne or that I don't smell like I usually do when I get off work. In the past he has snooped through my phone, when he doesn't believe me about going to work he gets on the google gps history for my phone to see if im lying about times and places that I have been. He's looks at my Facebook page daily, checking my friends posts and pictures to see if I went out and lied about it. When he's at work he calls me atheist once every hour if not more. Some of this I know is out of boredom but I know some of it is to check up on me. Before we lived together I was practically living at his mothers house because he didn't like when I went home, even though he works overnight shifts. His work was really close to his mothers house so if anyone we knew drove by he would always question me about it in the morning when I picked him up from work. We have talked over and over about all these issues. Some of it he has improved upon, I no longer get grilled every day about everything that I did when he wasn't around. I get some of the insecurity towards some of our friends (some of them are a little slutty and/or touchy feely) but what I don't get is why, after three years of me changing everything about my life to make him see that he can trust me, he still fights with me over going out with our friends every once in awhile. I don't get why he still thinks that some random guy can just steal me away from him when I've shown and told him countless times that I love him and that he's the only person I want to spend my life with. What would you do in this situation?

[Trippin2.0]

What would I do? Its simple actually...

RUN

Your bf isn't merely insecure, he's controlling, he's actually very creepy keeping tabs on you 24/7. In case you haven't noticed, its UNHEALTHY.

I had a bf like that once, he was way more subtle about stalking me though. We broke up because, to my (then) naive surprize, control is a hallmark red flag of abuse. The asswipe beat me to a pulp after having been with him for over 4 years, bending over backward to prove myself trustworthy...

He'll never trust you, he may not even beat you up, he may just want to own you, to possess you, but believe me when I say he'll never trust you.

You can give up all your basic human rights and not just your right to privacy, and he will still call you incessantly and give you the 3rd degree everytime you've left his side.

He will still dictate your life, you social activities, your wardrobe, where you live etc... He may not even tell you to make these decisions, but he already has surefire ways of making you choose what he prefers, because you prefer to avoid conflict. You're been manipulated, playing right into his hands, isolating you from friends and family, living where he prefers etc...

Its been 3 years... The writing is on the wall my dear.

Either accept that this is the nature of your relationship, where you are considered this man's property and he may or may not get physically abusive in future, or get out.

[waiting4]

I agree with Trippin...every single word.

Get out.

[ChipperMonkey]

I think you need to question why you want to be with an abusive man who isolates you from your friends. It doesn't matter if you are the most loyal person who has never done anything to even remotely betray him. He will ALWAYS be distrustful. Its not you, its him. He is never going to change. Get out now before the abuse & isolation becomes even worse.