[BreezyB]

My family has always been an extremely destructive part of my life. My mother was abusive throughout my childhood, and increasingly worse through my teenage years, and is better now that I am older but still manipulative if you don't play along to her game.
My father has never defended me, which I have always had a major problem with. How could he stand by as my mother did these things to me?
As a child, my mother was in charge of my sister and my father was in charge of me. My father worked long hours, and my mother was a stay at home mom. I was labeled, “my fathers child”. When my father became an alcoholic, I believe I was left feeling extremely abandoned. My father went on frequent business trips, and I was heartbroken each and every time he would leave. I would cry, sob, and scream if he didn’t give me notice of his departure, and cry each and every night he was gone. Since he had business trips very frequently, this was extremely difficult for me. I am now very co-dependent on my father. I talk to him 2-3 times a day and cry at the thought of losing him. If I watch Lion King, I cry at the scene where the father dies - ridiculous I know. I am ridiculously dependent on my father.
As for the rest of my family - they thrive off of drama, they were not supportive at all when I decided to come out in the open about my rape. Most of them are alcoholics, destructive, etc.

I am thinking about cutting them out of my life completely. I just don't know how I would do it. I have issues with loss, and don't know how I would possibly do it successfully, especially my father.

[kaliope]

my family was very destructive and unsupportive. I have ptsd from growing up with them. it was when I made the choice to cut them out of my life that I started to finally get better. it was as simple as making that decision and then no longer contacting them. no more calls no longer going to family functions not returning their calls. I didn't bother giving them explanations and they didn't bother asking. we just drifted apart. the ptsd symptoms went away after that. it was the best decision I ever made. take care.

[Werewoman]

I have to agree with kaliope. I've also cut my highly destructive and controlling family out of my life. It was the best decision I ever made for myself. I still have PTSD, and probably always will - possibly because I let it go on too long.

I just stopped answering phone calls, cashing birthday checks, attending family gatherings, and sending Christmas cards. Eventually they got the point and went away and left me alone.

I am now known as "The Crazy One" and damn proud of it. I'd rather be considered crazy than evil. Besides, if you ask me, if I'm the ONLY one who's ever sought treatment, how does that make me crazy?

I'm happier, healthier than I've ever been (at 52) and I can wake up in the morning looking forward to the day and feeling proud of the progress I've made.

[ChipperMonkey]

Why not try low contact (on your terms) first?