…I'm not as excited about it as I thought I would be. I mean, the guy is nice enough and he actually respects my boundaries when it comes to being touched (I think). I'm just afraid to go on a second date and there be even more pressure for us to do something…even kissing scares me and the thought makes me uncomfortable. And I don't feel any attraction to him yet…is that normal? Am I supposed to grow attracted to him over a long period of time or am I supposed to be attracted to him immediately? Honestly, I'm not even 100% sure I want to be friends either since I don't know if I want friends at all…I'm just so confused and terrified that after all of this that I may actually be asexual after all.

[bluekoi]

I.Am.The.End., Hello. Why not just hang out with this guy for a while, and see if you like being around him and he around you? Don't think of it as dating as you will only put more pressure on yourself. Make sure he understands you are not sure about your feelings. Take it slow and have a good time!

[waiting4]

I agree with bluekoi....no reason to add the pressure to yourself, just think of it as two people enjoying whatever it is your doing, together, be it a movie, dinner...whatever. As far as feeling attraction right away, it's all dependent on a lot of different factors...I've had relationships where I felt smitten right away and others where they kinda grew on me.

The main thing is not to push yourself...as bluekoi said, just have fun. Whether they become a friend or more, is definately not something you need to worry about at this early date

He's the one pressuring ME. Not the other way around. He's the one putting me in an awkward situation by asking if he could kiss me…even after I've explained that I want to take things extremely slowly and my boundaries are frequently crossed because I freeze up and can't say or do anything to stop the other person.

I would love to just spend time getting to know him, but how can I when I know he's just going to be pressuring me to do XYZ all the time? There's no way to hang around him without HIM putting pressure on me. (Not the other way around.) Thankfully, I'm going out of town for about a month so I can have an excuse not to see him.

[bluekoi]

I.Am.The.End., You must tell this man immediately to stop if he is not respecting your boundaries. Tell him that he is pressuring you and that this behavior will not be tolerated. If he does not desist, you must tell him that you are no longer willing to be in his company. End of date.

He did a decent job respecting my boundaries, even recognizing my "freezing" as a no. I'm just nervous about having to be put in that position again.

Guys just seem to think that resistance and being uncomfortable/scared is "cute".

I also feel kind of bad that he's in essence paying for the sins of his predecessors.

EDIT:
Also to complicate things further, I think I may have feelings for someone else—a former professor of mine and soon to be a current professor again as I'm going back to school in the fall. I know it's stupid, but it's not like many will ever be able to compare to him.

[bluekoi]

I.Am.The.End., Only you can decide what is best for you.

I don't trust that I can decide what is best for me. I can't tell if my uncomfortableness is from him specifically or from the myriad of bad experiences with other guys.