[random...girl...23]

i recently moved in with one my best friends. we have lived together before so i thought it would go over well. she just broke up with alcoholic bf and was happy to be out from his control. but then they started talking and when we first moved we had originally agreed not to have him know where we lived. then like 2 weeks into it she wanted to know if he could come over to the house. when she first told me i was annoyed but i said what ever. i was at work at the time and wasnt thinking about it too much. when i got home she asked me if i wanted her to pick me up with him and go somewhere for supper. after that i lost my ****. i started thinking about in my home and in my space and suddenly i couldnt be there anymore. not if he was there. i mean this guy has been a real jerk to her and i couldn't understand why she wanted to be with him. i did end up leaving and by the time i got home we had a huge blow out. my roomie and i. a week later he's been coming over, which im okay with cause i usually go to my room, and hes stayed the night the past couple nights which i have been fine with. the only thing that annoyed me really was that they had the big tv and i just had the one in my room. but tonight she told me she was going out to see him and that was fine and then she came back suddenly with him in tow and i just bristled. like i did not want to see him i did not want him in my house, and i stayed calm and kept my cool. but i just feel like hes almost stealing her from me. like im not good enough to hang out with, she has to be with him every day. because literally she doesn't go a day without seeing him. i thought it was going to be us and how it was the first time when he wasn't in the piture and he is all the time. hes eating my food and sitting on my couch and in my house and she doesnt want t go hang out at their old house so im trying to be supportive and say yea he can come over here bcasue i told her i would support her but its so frustrating. like my hands are shaking and my minds racing and i just dont know what to do or think, like i feel like im crazy for wanting her and that i depend on her. shes my person but shes obviously not because her bf is her person which leaves me with no one. no one to care....fml

[glok]

Hello, random...girl. You agreed to alter the agreement not to let the alcoholic know where you lived. Then you agreed to let him come over.

The real issues seem to be your dependence on your friend and the sense of rejection you now feel. An amenable accommodation of your differences does not seem likely. You must decide to accept what is going on or move on.

Good luck.

[spondiferous]

Hey random girl. It's a tough situation; I had that with one of my best friends and it almost ruined us. We ended up moving away from each other within five months of moving in together.
You need to tell your friend how you really feel, if you haven't already. And you need to set some boundaries with the guy. Like, you only want him around this much time per week, and if he's going to be all the time eating the food in the house, and it's impacting how much money you are spending, then either he chips in some money or your friend chips in more money.
If your friend is unwilling to listen, then yes, perhaps it is time to seek a new living arrangement. There's no point living in a place where you are constantly upset about what's happening.
Hope you are able to reach a solution. Good luck.