[Rayne Selene]

I was wondering if anyone has any advice on how to reach out to a family member who may be going through the beginning stages of a divorce. I don't want to go into enough detail on the off chance someone reads this who knows who I'm talking about....basically, my cousin, who I've always looked up to like an older brother, got married fairly recently to a young woman who has two young daughters from two separate previous relationships. The wedding was very nice, I don't know her well, but they seemed very happy. My cousin adopted her children, so he is now the legal father. Suddenly, his wife has become, excuse the language, a complete ******. She quit her job and refuses to work, saying she wants to be a stay at home mom, but then does nothing with her children and frequently leaves them at their grandmother's house. My cousin is struggling to go back to school for a degree and pay all the bills. Their house and car may be going into foreclosure. She won't hardly let him touch her. She goes out at night and parties with her friends. Last night she posted all these pictures online of her and some friends partying and different guys ALL over her. My cousin is a sweet kind of guy who just wants to make other people happy, and he's besotted with her...I can't imagine the kind of pain this must be causing him, but I don't know how to reach out to him, especially because I'm not supposed to know any of this and he'd be mortified if he knew I knew...Any advice?

[Rhapsody]

How about just try being their for him as a good friend and cousin..... go over to his house for a visit or ask him out to dinner over a drink. He would probably enjoy the opportunity to talk with a comfortable soul and in time when he is relaxed enough he may even open up to you about whats going on in his life --one knows he needs to vent and let it all out.

[hvert]

I would be present for him -- stay in touch, get together. I would avoid saying anything negative about his wife or his marriage, but just be there for him in case he needs you.