[doggiedo]

I started dating an old friend from college. It's been about 10 years since we have seen each other. So far things are going very well. However, I am a little concerns about the little things he gets angry over. If someone cuts him off, he's pissed for hours. He has a toddler with his ex gf....now she's engaged and there is a new guy in the picture..essentially replacing him as the kids father. He always seems to let this guy get the best of him.

He has never exhibited anger toward me, and I'm not worried about that....but I do worry about it getting to him...his blood pressure, etc. He's a cop, too...so he's used to working with force, violence, etc.

I guess I'm just wondering how to handle this, and if its worth sticking around to see if it's going anywhere. I know that essentially, only I can answer that, but I'm open to suggestions. I have talked to him about it, telling him that it's not worth getting upset about, to see if he can try and let things go, etc. He knows I'm concerned for him and his health. How healthy can this be for him, long term?

[waiting4]

Originally Posted by doggiedo

I started dating an old friend from college. It's been about 10 years since we have seen each other. So far things are going very well. However, I am a little concerns about the little things he gets angry over. If someone cuts him off, he's pissed for hours. He has a toddler with his ex gf....now she's engaged and there is a new guy in the picture..essentially replacing him as the kids father. He always seems to let this guy get the best of him.

He has never exhibited anger toward me, and I'm not worried about that....but I do worry about it getting to him...his blood pressure, etc. He's a cop, too...so he's used to working with force, violence, etc.

I guess I'm just wondering how to handle this, and if its worth sticking around to see if it's going anywhere. I know that essentially, only I can answer that, but I'm open to suggestions. I have talked to him about it, telling him that it's not worth getting upset about, to see if he can try and let things go, etc. He knows I'm concerned for him and his health. How healthy can this be for him, long term?

Not healthy at all, either physically or emotionally, and it's not good for you to have to witness when he gets that stressed out.

I know he's a cop and having dated a cop previously, I know they are not usually agreeable to counselling, but if you can try to get him to speak to one, he might be able to learn some tools to counter-act his hissy fits. As far as him not taking it out on you, sounds like you two are still in the 'honeymoon' phase of your dating, so don't be surprised if he does, at some point, lash out at you.

As far as sticking around, you're right, only you can decide that....but just keep your eyes open and take care to keep safe. Being in a relationship with someone who can't control his emotions (especially negative ones) is no walk in the park, believe me.

Take care

[doggiedo]

Thanks for responding. Yea he actually is in counseling and has found it helpful.