[KaceFace]

So I'm really emotional and don't cope with stress very well and have very low self esteem. My boyfriend is like my emotional punching bag I know that's not healthy at all. Sometimes I'll get upset for something small but I feel bad for getting upset and then I'll just burst into tears because I have a whole bunch of emotions and thoughts going on in my head and so many different feelings and stress built up.

Anyways I want to do more things for him to show how much I love and appreciate him and to make up for when I get like that. The only thing is that he's not the romantic, sensitive type AT ALL. I get one romantic gesture from him a year and of course when it happens it's great. But if I were to ever do something cute and sweet like the ideas I've seen on pinterest I don't think he would enjoy it or think it's as cute and sweet as I do. For example I made him a coupon book for valentines day and he left it at my place after I gave it to him and probably forgot about it. I am also broke and can't spend money on expensive things for him either.

So yeah I was just wondering if anyone here had any ideas of what I could do.

[ChipperMonkey]

I think that first you should identify what love language he speaks. Are you familiar with the concept? Basically there are 5 main ways that people show/feel love. 1) by verbally being told "I love you" or with other compliments. 2) by doing things for that person, ie acts of service. 3) through physical affection, ie hugging, kissing, sex. 4) by spending time with them. 5) through gifts or tokens of affection. You can google the five love languages to get a more thorough description of each, and there are a number of books on the concept as well. I think it is important for you to identify how he feels love because you may show love one way, but if he primarily feels it in another, then the message of love won't be transmitted very effectively, if at all.

After that has been determined, I honestly don't think you really need to go over the top with showing your love for him. Yes, its nice to have something bigger done occasionally, but true love can be shown daily in the little things that you do.

[KaceFace]

Yeah I'm familiar with the concept and I've tried to figure out his love language but I can't figure it out. He's not emotional or in touch with his feelings very much so it's hard to tell how he feels love. I praise him all the time, do things for him, I want to cuddle all the time, we spend as much time together as possible, and the things I give him don't seem to be cherished very much. Since he doesn't express his feelings very much I don't know if what I do is working or what works best.

[A Red Panda]

This is a really dumb question from me... but have you flat out asked him, or told him that you aren't sure how to show him that you care about him?

[JlSalem]

A very important part to any relationship is the reciprocation of the love we give. It feels good to have our lover return those gestures of love, and the fact that he isn't romantic other than one time a year is daunting. This may become an issue down the road, I would suggest being honest and explain how this affects you. As far as the feelings inside, you need to confide in your significant other, and let him know these feelings you have and it will help for you to not have him as your "emotional punching bag".

[ChipperMonkey]

I flat out asked my guy what his love languages are....after explaining the full concept. It really helped me to know how to show him how I love him best, and it helped him to know my ANTI-love language. (I kid you not....someone saying "I love you" either makes me feel all warm and fuzzy or makes me want to throw something across the room. Gotta love growing up in a dysfunctional household where love was used as a manipulation tool!) Do you think you could ask him how he feels loved best?

[KaceFace]

I thought of just flat out asking him but I can just guess his response. He would most likely say I don't know. But I should probably just ask.

[A Red Panda]

There's no harm in asking! If he doesn't respond, or responds like that, just tell him that it's something that you need and deserve - because you deserve to feel cared about, and right now you just don't see it often. Just remind him that you don't mean big things.. but little things.