[Atlantea]

That's right. I don't care if your dog is your best friend or your whole social circle is only made up of people online that you hang out with - the friendships are legit.

Sorry this got long lol.
This issue was bothering the crap out of me:

I have long distance relatives up visiting and one of them was making conversation she asked me about my career future...which there wasn't much to say because I'm just starting back working at a part time boring place after a 5 year hiatus.

And then she starts asking me about my friends and social life and who I was talking to on my PDA because a message popped up on screen. I told her it was a friend of mine telling me about her day. So she asks me about her I tell her this friend lives in another state, and I have another friend that lives down south in TX who we are planning on getting together etc.

Well my relative then gives me this attitude and a dirty look telling me those aren't any real friends, and then asks, what about anybody from around here? I said no, it's going to take a while to build friendships in this local area because people around here are pretty tough and closed off to their own groups socially.

So she continues her jerk opinionated quest to dis my online social connections to me, and tells me that "my feelings" toward building social life with people around here are false and that it's easier and better to make "real" friends locally.

Yeah right okay, like I can just run out right now, grab a stranger and make them my friend. Lol. Whatever.

That really pissed me off. Hardcore. People don't need to walk into your stuff and tell you what you do is wrong and fake because it's not a local connection. That would be like me telling her that her business dealing with international clients is all fake. WTF!!!!

People don't realize how damn hard it can be to rebuild social connections, especially if you tend to be a little different or are a little awkward more than usual. Any kind of friendship is legit, and just as wonderful

[unaluna]

Yeah real life friends who pull this crap on me tend to get cut from the lineup!

agree with you that social connections online are real and genuine. Well the fact that you can run into fake people online, is true but that's not necessarily exclusive to online people either, because getting close to someone online might mean more due diligence in testing their genuineness does not mean it's not possible to have real friends online I personally have many online friends and some of which are long term, very well trusted friends that I think very highly of.

Her assumption that the only real friendships are in RL or "local" (hate the term Real Life, because it assumes that Online connections do not constitute real life, butfor lack of a better term, I use it) is wrong. There are pros and cons of both types of friendships. Both are real but different in nature.

Being an introvert puts a damper on being social in everyday life and for some, online socializing is an answer to a potentially lonely life. Sure it's good to have both but like you say it's not like you can go out and grab a stranger and call them your friend.

i completely understand and agree. Working on the real social life myself but it's anything but a simple task

*hugs*

[ChipperMonkey]

Some of my best friends are online. I also have offline friends, and some of those I haven't seen in over 15 years, but we are in weekly/daily contact. I guess they don't count, even though they live in the next town and we have met in person many times? Geesh. People can be so judgmental. Yes, you can get catfished online, but the trick is to cease communication when things don't add up and be open and honest about everything. I have made a few great friends online over the years, and I know I NEVER would have met anyone like them IRL.

[Lonelyheart22]

I always had a problem with making friends and the best friends I have had so far have mostly been online. In fact, my two friends that I hang out with in person, were both met online and we became online friends first, despite living in the same city. I have also met 2 other people from abroad, that I had been friends with online for over a year before that.

I think that meeting people online can sometimes even be more genuine because a lot of shy, introverted people can actually be a bit more open and show more of their true selves online, with less pressure put on them and then there's also the fact that, usually, social status and looks don't matter and the first impression is made in the best way, through what the person says and thinks, their behavior.
What is also an advantage is that you can meet these people on sites/forums for those interested in the things you are interested in so you share hobbies and/or views from the get go.

[waiting4]

Originally Posted by Lonelyheart22

I always had a problem with making friends and the best friends I have had so far have mostly been online. In fact, my two friends that I hang out with in person, were both met online and we became online friends first, despite living in the same city. I have also met 2 other people from abroad, that I had been friends with online for over a year before that.

I think that meeting people online can sometimes even be more genuine because a lot of shy, introverted people can actually be a bit more open and show more of their true selves online, with less pressure put on them and then there's also the fact that, usually, social status and looks don't matter and the first impression is made in the best way, through what the person says and thinks, their behavior.
What is also an advantage is that you can meet these people on sites/forums for those interested in the things you are interested in so you share hobbies and/or views from the get go.

I've met several people IRL from meeting them online, have shared births, marriages, deaths with them.....as well as laughs, support and kindness.

There is always someone behind the monitor, and just like IRL, one has to be careful not to cultivate someone dangerous to your life, but I've found, as well, that meeting and befriending people online, has been successful nearly always. And those fell thru, were not meant to be anyway...thankfully, very few of those.

Who cares what this judgmental relative of yours thinks of your friendships? I agree with what everyone else has said on here, especially lonleyheart22. From now on, don't tell her about any of your friendships.

Let her calls go to v.m and her emails ignored if she asks you about this. The only real issues with online friendships is that sometimes maintaining a long distance friendship can be difficult. Also, some people tend to see online friendships as being more disposable. You just have to be careful in knowing who is genuine and those who are just bored and passing time until someone else comes along.

You do have to be more careful with people that you meet online. Just because they're you're friends online though, that doesn't mean that they're any less of a friend IMHO. Like I said, don't tell your nosy relative anything else about these friendships. Just ignore her from now on or change the subject.

Just say that your happy with the friends that you have now and leave it at that. Say that you have to go talk to your friend now if she insists on knowing more about what's going on, lol.

[ace333]

I have always had a heard time making friends in "real life" and even now I can honestly say I only have about 4 of them. But when I speak to people online I actually feel more comfortable expressing my feelings and likes and dislikes. And I can say that some online people have been better friends than my day to day friends. Its easier I guess for me because I dont have to worry about appearance. Its all based on similar thoughts and expressions so I dont feel pressured in anyway. Which is very relaxing. I to hate when people say online friends arent real....if someone cares for you, helps you, and puts a smile on your face they are real whether they are two feet away from you or thousands of miles away makes no difference the connection is the same. Some just cant see it

[AlyJ93]

I agree! ... Lol sorry for the shortness of this message, I'm really trying to get 5 posts in here.

[hvert]

Your relative is just showing her age, lol I have a few online relationships that have gone on for 20 years There's one person I've been emailing for 15 years that I still haven't met, but she's one of my closest friends.

I do think that the online friendships are different from people you see in person. Having both is best!

[BLUEDOVE]

I have 'met' the most beautiful people online,people
with compassion,caring,kindness,integrity. I happen to live in a very dysfunctional society,so it
is a lifeline to me to have good friends online from
all over world.

[MyselfAndIAlone]

I literally have one 'real life' friend since I moved countries three months ago. I'm in touch with people from back home and I've made new online friends. I work from home so I'm pretty much trapped here so, if I didn't speak to anyone online, I'd probably be in a much worse position than I am now!

I also get a lot of crap from my other half for said relationships - he's constantly telling me it's not healthy and I'm sad. So, there's that.

I think there's an element of openness with online friends; we're perfect strangers with the ability to reach out and touch the lives of each other in a way we would never have been able to do before. We have the ability to walk away from the ***-hats a little easier and share ourselves without boundaries.

Some of the most deep and meaningful conversations I've had in the last three months have been online, with complete strangers that I now consider my friends.

It's a new era x