[nienna777]

Hello,

I've never reached out for help before, because I've always been able to handle what my mom would reveal to me about her bi-polar disorder/ptsd. However, now that I am an adult, she has revealed far more to me.

I myself suffer from generalized anxiety. As she has exposed more and more of what she suffers with, I find my own issues becoming worse as well. She finds me to be a great comfort and comes to me often seeking guidance. I'm finding that I've reached a breaking point that I can no longer handle these issues, but refuse to cut off our open communication, because I do not ever want my mom to think that she cannot come to me.

How can I maintain a balance with someone so unstable? How can I be in control when I suffer from such gripping anxiety on my own? While I am surrounded by so much love with my fiance and his family, as well as very good friends, they do not understand this kind of turmoil. All they can do is listen to me vent. In turn, I make them feel just as helpless as I feel.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

[Jan1212]

Don't be afraid to take care of yourself, your mom should understand that sometimes it gets overwhelming. If not can you ask another relative to talk to her?

Originally Posted by nienna777

How can I maintain a balance with someone so unstable?

You need to break the cycle of " Mutual Clinging " to each other and do what should of been done for your mothers mental problems, send her to a Psychologist and let them deal with all her problems , not you.

Put up " Boundaries " to stop her controlling your life and leaning on you , clinging .

[nienna777]

Thanks for the responses!!!

So, as for my mother getting help, she actually has that well covered. She sees a therapist as well as goes to group therapy sessions. She also has a Psychiatrist.

The problem came in, when she told the people there about the issues she was having with her roommate, and instead of addressing her emotional issues, they simply told her to call the cops if it got out of hand, which only scared her more, thinking she might have to call.

I saw this as when I needed to step in and help. I didn't realize that advice to call the cops was supposed to help. Now I see that is exactly where the boundaries should've been put.

My only issue now, is simply that I know what I know. Sometimes just knowing how far the rabbit hole goes for her is just too much for me to bear. Growing up, I was exposed to about 60% of it, but now as an adult, I see about 90% of it.

How does one cope with simply knowing?

[nienna777]

Originally Posted by Jan1212

Don't be afraid to take care of yourself, your mom should understand that sometimes it gets overwhelming. If not can you ask another relative to talk to her?

Forgot to answer this question... I'm an only child, and while her mother and brother (my grandma and uncle) do try to help, they're overwhelmed by it as well. So that just leaves me.