[JackBlack]

Having jut ended a four-year relationship I have recently found myself thinking of how much time and energy I put into that person and the relationship. For all of this it ended with a feeling of failure and void of any satisfaction. Really just an empty numb feeling. What qualities should I be looking for in a person as I move forward? Is there a barometer that can help me determine if there is long-term potential? Are differences or similarities more important?

Originally Posted by JackBlack

Having jut ended a four-year relationship I have recently found myself thinking of how much time and energy I put into that person and the relationship. For all of this it ended with a feeling of failure and void of any satisfaction. Really just an empty numb feeling. What qualities should I be looking for in a person as I move forward? Is there a barometer that can help me determine if there is long-term potential? Are differences or similarities more important?

Sounds like it may be best to take some time to yourself to heal; four years is a long time. You can use this time to figure yourself and what you want out also...

Originally Posted by JackBlack

Having jut ended a four-year relationship I have recently found myself thinking of how much time and energy I put into that person and the relationship. For all of this it ended with a feeling of failure and void of any satisfaction. Really just an empty numb feeling. What qualities should I be looking for in a person as I move forward? Is there a barometer that can help me determine if there is long-term potential? Are differences or similarities more important?

Did you put your ex partner on a " Pedestal " and do everything to please her ?

[~Christina]

Take time to get over the relationship before you think about your next one

[JackBlack]

Hi guys
Love to have found these forums. They are sure to help me in my time of need.
. I know I should take some time to heal. Unfortunately I left my home and three children for this girl. Now it turns out that she had been sleeping with three guys at the same time before we even got started. My trust is obviously broken now and it's incredibly hard to get back would think. I did put her on a pedestal and I think maybe that's why she chose to cheat. In fact it's ironic that your name bad boy as I think I may have been too nice, too loyal, and too accepting of her lifestyle. For lifestyle being that of a serial dater with severe depression. She sleeps about 16 to 18 hours a day and it drove me crazy.

Originally Posted by JackBlack

I know I should take some time to heal. Unfortunately I left my home and three children for this girl.

Maybe mending old relationships (friendships, family, coworkers...) is a good idea? Having support, including from here, may offer a little relief.

[~Christina]

I would focus on your kids for now. Allow yourself time to get over her cheating on you... Any relationship you would start now would most likely be doomed this soon.