[Waitingonher]

I'll try to give an abbreviated story. My wife and I have been married for a year and a half. Both of us were married once before. To make a long story short, my son did something extremely stupid which affected our entire family. My wife and I had opposite reactions to this event and ended up fighting a lot. We were horrible to each other and I moved out. After almost 3 months, we decided to try to put our fairytale marriage back together. Unfortunately she had already signed a one year lease for an apartment across town. While she was moving I saw a text come across her phone that said "it was so nice to see you and by the way, you're looking good." It turns out that her ex's cousin lives across the street. I asked her about it and she dismissed it meaning anything. Well, the texts continue. I looked through her phone, she knew I did. The texts were seemingly harmless. Now, I can see through the usage details that they text a lot and she's deleting them. Our marriage counselor said the guys up to no good seeing a lady with marriage problems move in. I tried to tell her this but she laughs and says she would never have anything to do with that family. I want to believe her. Our sex life has really slowed down. She's texted him on her breaks instead of me. Now with deleting the texts, it's obvious something is going on she doesn't want me to know about. She says she loves me and keeps saying we'll get through this rough part of out lives. I pretended I was sleeping and she cuddled up to me and stroked my arm. I don't know if she's being for real or is setting me up for the ultimate mind screw.

[Little Lulu]

You might need to take the hard road (for you) here to see if this thing will really work out. Leave her and the whole issue alone for a while - just stay in gentle touch - and let things settle in her mind as to where she wants to be. You already know where you want to go but it sounds like she is playing both sides. Sometimes you have to let something go to get it back ...

[hvert]

I am not familiar with your situation and maybe I am way off base, but the 'just signed a one year lease' thing-- are you two still living separately? If so, that sounds like a red flag to me --- when it comes to getting out of leases, where there is a will, there is a way (usually).

Just some backstory for why I think that way: a coworker's husband kept telling his separated wife that he wanted to win her back and work on the marriage - but he wouldn't move back in because 'her place was too small and she signed a lease.' She would have gladly figured out a way to make it work-- but he must not have really wanted to get back together because he kept using that excuse.

I think Little Lulu is onto something.

[healingme4me]

If she's saying she's not interested in the exes cousin, need to take for face value. Yet, I can see where this budding, flattering friendship of hers, is at the risk of being attacked here...running into questionable territory. It's certainly, taking away from reconnecting. I don't know, maybe I'm just old fashioned, behind the times, unenlightened. ..

Edit to add.

My mom, left my dad, into the arms of her 'friend' . Granted, there were troubles. However, looking back, she never again, harbored an opposite gender friend, to that magnitude. Coincidence? Or did she see it, different, after?

[zyberzoom]

The texting is cheating, no matter how you look at it. If you're doing something behind your partner's back, no matter what she says, is simply sneaky, and cheating is cheating. It doesn't even have to have sex involved, though it could. I wouldn't trust her.

[MissBelle00]

This might not be the best advice, but if it were me, I wouldn't be able to sleep until I found out what was really going on.

I know I'd be the kind of person who would only get peace of mind knowing for sure.

But I know a lot of people out there who can manage just fine leaving this kind of stuff in the past.

I suppose it depends on how well it works out between you two, and if you want to continue loving her enough to stay no matter what.

Best of luck with everything.