[new_guy245]

How do you stop obsessing about someone? I know this takes time but I am going insane. A stupid one sided crush on a student. I can't forget him and I don't like the fact that I am thinking about him.

In a way, I feel bitter about it because ever since last year, this student showered me with compliments, visited my office very frequently for chit chat and I feel like I would not have developed the crush if he had just stayed the hell way from me. I know a part of this is my fault and I let my emotions get out of hand but something about all of this just doesn't add up.

What kind of straight guy who is engaged constantly flirts and showers his professor with compliments? Seriously? I feel like he just did not have a clue about me or he just played me. Either way it sucks.

I am working on moving on. There are plenty of guys in the world better than him. I need to remind myself. Just needed to get that off my chest. Any coping strategies welcome and thanks for those who replied to me.

[lilypup]

Have you thought about some therapy? I'd like to see you set better boundaries for yourself. Hugs.

[hamster-bamster]

Try to think of him ad nauseam. Hopefully you will get bored. It is not guaranteed to work, but is worth trying.

All the best. Not an easy place to be in, for sure.

[curley]

Hi New Guy, It is difficult to say why people do the things they do. And I think it messes with our head to try to figure it out. I am a person who can easily obsess. It is sometimes a sickening feeling. The only thing that helps a bit is to stay very busy with something you really enjoy. Or there is also meeting someone you are interested in, for friendship or more.
I am sure next time a student wants to spend to much time with you, you wont allow it to happen.
Good luck to you

[Rose76]

This sounds to me like a guy who was trying to find a shortcut to getting an "A." You wouldn't be the first professor who got played like that. This guy may have taught you a lesson that you needed to learn. The next time a student starts laying on the charm, you'll be aware that the student may have an agenda.

Sometimes the simplest explanation is the most likely one.

[new_guy245]

Originally Posted by Rose76

This sounds to me like a guy who was trying to find a shortcut to getting an "A." You wouldn't be the first professor who got played like that. This guy may have taught you a lesson that you needed to learn. The next time a student starts laying on the charm, you'll be aware that the student may have an agenda.

Sometimes the simplest explanation is the most likely one.

That's what I thought at first. But he was doing pretty well in my classes and often times he said to me explicitly that he is not being a kiss ***. Added on top of that, he is not in my classes since end of last spring. But he did visit me over the summer for chit chat. I am still working on stopping to think about him. Easier said than done.

[Rose76]

People who explicitly deny something that no one accused them of . . . hmmm . . . he still sounds like kind of a phony kiss*** to me.

Maybe he just likes to see how many females he can charm.

It will take time to get him out of your head, but his image will fade over time. I've been in that situation myself. Sounds like he was supplying something that you need more of in your life. Maybe you can find another source . . . that won't be so fickle.