[seasonalflow]

Currently my father is ill due to dementia. He is quite elderly, but the effect of his illness is bringing the family together more often. Underneath I don't really get along with my family because I think they have always played psychologically rough and can be quite mean. However, when we come together I feel like we all have to keep the peace and as much as I want to be there for my father, inside I just feel angry and want to leave. I guess I wanted to reach out and ask if anyone else knows how painful it can feel having to deal with family when their is powerful underlying conflict...

[NWgirl2013]

Yes, I know Exactly how that feels. But somehow, we have to dig deep into our reserves and find our inner strength now, we cannot let that bad energy in.

You deserve to be with your dad as much as you want to be, so stay focused on him and block out the negative as much as possible. My heart goes out to you in this very scary and difficult time.

[hvert]

Yes, that is a very tough situation. I don't think there is anything wrong with acting on your feelings. If you spend some time with your family and then reach a saturation point and want to leave, go for it.

I've found that limiting the amount of time I spend with my family at get togethers makes a big difference. I don't give them enough time to get on my nerves in the first place, if that makes sense.

Just because they are family doesn't mean they are worthy of your presence.

I would not be subjecting myself to any abusive behavior simply because there's an illness in the family.

As far as me and my family goes ... Eff them!

They didn't give a fig about me when I was a child ...

I certainly don't give a fig about them now that I'm an adult.

Sincerely,
Pfrog!

[unaluna]

Plus you can buy figs at just about any grocery store now. You dont need family for figs.

[seasonalflow]

Thanks so much for your replies. I have been following the advice and experience you have written here. I just meet up with my family enough to keep the peace and not to stress out my parents, but have decided to limit my exposure so as to look after myself. Thanks again for all of your support.