[henrydavidtherobot]

My mental state has been so much healthier since I moved to China. I'm very grateful. I love myself more than ever and am more calm.

However, I'm still struggling with impulsive control and comfort seeking.

After a drunken night, I ended up hooking up with my friend (and future roommate's) ex bf during a threesome. She's OK with it though; she's moved on and has a bf. However, I heard that he liked me so I messaged him to tell him that I only liked him as a friend and did not want a relationship. We then got to talking and I learned that he was having a pretty hard week and wanted to move back home (we're all expats). So, I made a point to spend some time with him alone the following week to help him out. One thing led to another and we've been sleeping with each other and acting like we're dating.

I feel like I couldn't stop it if I wanted to. I don't trust myself to fully pull out of this. I'll get lonely and I'm too afraid of going back to my old ways. I spend a lot of time here staying out too late because I'm desperate to have worthwhile social interaction. Since we've been hanging out, I feel calm and have been spending more time by myself instead of searching for people. Unfortunately, even though I adore him, I'm not really that sexually attracted to him. The sex is good, but there is a missing spark. Also, I doubt any longevity because though we get on well, I'm afraid that he's smart in a different way than I am and that will begin to bother me. Also, I really want to keep things casual focus on myself. However, I have had so much trouble meting cool people here and do appreciate the romance. I know that I should get out, but I'm not sure how to do that seeing as I'm not sure how I got in. He really likes me and I don't want to hurt him.

Why am I doing this? What should I do?

[henrydavidtherobot]

no one? :/

Move out , you got to stand on your own or your never going to learn how to take care of u