[NuXuXu]

I know I am just asking for trouble because she is, and has always been, in denial about her own mental health issues and we have always been at odds because of it. The thing is, I have a son who will be 3 in November and he has no other living grandparents, and I have been feeling guilty about not having anyone to call grandma/grandpa. Also, I have been so wiped out from the medication changes that I am desperate to have anyone else to play with him so I use what little energy I do have to get some things done.

So, we talked this week and it was cordial, but as it turns out, she now apparently has an aversion to driving more than short distances (we are an hour away), so I don't know how it's going to play out. I have a 19 year old daughter who is appalled that I re-established contact and wants nothing to do with her. I have a brother who also cut all ties less than a year ago after our mother went off on his wife about who she(my mother) wanted invited to their daughter's christening and said things that were beyond horrendous.

I don't know why I keep thinking that she will mellow with age. She is 63 now and it looks like she is gonna ride this denial train all the way to the grave...lol

[Altered Moment]

I would say base your decision on what is in the best interest of your three year old and not other factors. I don't know what that answer is though.

[IrisBloom]

My advice would be to let her have a relationship with your little one unless she is actively abusive or detrimental to him or you. It is important for kids to know their grandparents for many reasons. Figure something out about the distance. She probably won't mellow any time soon. I had similar issues with my mother, and I decided I'd rather have a relationship with her now than regret not doing my part later. (She passed away 2 years ago and I am glad I relented. I had cut her out of my life for 8 years.)

Just ignore the negativity and remind yourself it's her problem and not yours.

[Me and my dog]

I cut ties with my mother nearly 8 years ago and she in turn cut ties with my 2 daughters. She willingly missed 2 graduations, 2 weddings and is getting ready to miss out on a great granddaughter. She has been informed by my girls of every event and chosen to ignore them. Walking away from her was obviously the best thing I could have done for us. Crazy moms suck! Good luck!

[comethisfar]

I understand you want the best for your kid! No right answers here! It appears important to me, however, that your mother also make an effort to see her grandson. In order to make sure this does bot become a horrendous ordeal for you (and teaches your son all the wrong things about relationships) do not let her dictate all the conditions (when, where, how to get there). Ask her to contribute, to commit and agree that there are consequences if she does not hold up her commitment. If she agrees to drive 30 minutes you way and you drive 30 minutes and she does not comply, you are probably not interested in her having a relationship with you or your son. She may have issues but she probably knows that her behavior has consequences: it is up to you (and for everyone's benefit) to reinforce them. I wish you the best of luck!

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