[jesusplay]

I was in the mall and met 3 women. My intent was to make a friend as I have none. 2 were employees and 1 was a shopper like me.

The first lady was very beautiful and I asked if she get's hit on a lot and she said everyday, I did not hit on her, just small talk and bought somethings.

The second lady was also an employee and we talked for 15 minutes and I asked her if I could text her. I assured her she did not have to give me her number and it won't be awkward if you say no. Got her number, texted her, she replied. 5 days later no reply to 2 text.

The 3rd girl I mistook for an employee while trying to get help and we talked for for 2 minutes. Then I saw her again and she came up to me and we chatted for 30 minutes on a bench in the mall. Again no pressure she gave me her number. Never replied to my text.

I have never had problems with getting numbers and people responding, I guess I can blame my mental illness as I've been isolated for 2 years

[hvert]

Wow, I think that you get the numbers at all just by talking to strangers you meet in the mall is pretty good! I don't give out my number at all!

[scorpiosis37]

It's really rather poor form to ask for numbers from employees while you are shopping or dining in their establishments. They are there to do a job. It makes their job a lot harder, both literally and emotionally, when they have to constantly fend off advances (platonic or romantic) from customers all day long. It's simply unpleasant for them. Yet, as part of their job, they have to remain friendly and keep a smile on their face because they are at work. The women you mention probably felt pressured to give their numuber-- or didn't know how to say no. I say that because they did not text you back or try to build a friendship. When a woman gives her number out but does not reply after that, it usually means she did not want to give her number in the first place, but felt pressured to do so. I used to do that when I was younger. I didn't yet know how to say "no" so I would give out my number and then just ignore them from the safety and distance of my phone. It's not a very mature method, but a lot of young women haven't learned how to say "no" yet. Try to put yourself in their shoes. If you're at work, trying to get work done, do you want to have people ask for your number every five minutes? It holds them up from making a sale, putting clothes back on racks, helping customers get things down, etc. It's simply a distraction. It would also be untenable for them to be friends with every customer who asked for a number. If they get approached 20 times a day, are they expected to make and keep up with 20 new friends every day? These young women probably just want to get their job done, so that they can go home and spend time with their families and close friends-- who they don't get to see when they're at work. If you have only met these women once, what do you even know about them? Or them about you? You don't know enough about one another to even know if you would be compatible as friends. That's why it's good to meet friends at places where you are both looking for friends, have an activity/hobby in common, etc. I realize that you are lonely and trying to make friends. I'm just suggesting that you find some healthier means of doing so. Try a social group, a hobby group, a meetup.com, etc. Approaching employees who are have to be polite to customers will probably not give you the results you are looking for. Look for women who are in your position, also looking to make new friends.

[ChipperMonkey]

I guess I don't see where the unfriendly bit comes in? These women all talked to you and you got numbers. As with meeting anyone, you've gotta cast a wide net before you find a few select people that you really connect with.

[ifst5]

This must be a cultural thing as that simply wouldn't happen in the UK - if someone asked for my number in a shop i'd tell them no flat out...i get enough cold calling and 'wrong number' calls to want to be phoned by any more strangers.

You definitely need to look at finding friends in areas where there's more common ground - go along to hobby classes, sports activities, or even a bar etc. I think it's great that you want to be friends with people and try to be proactive about it but there's simply better ways of doing it. These days i think the description of friendship has changed - peoples standards are a lot higher, more is expected and there seems to be pressure for longer term companionship that most people can't offer. As long as you're aware of your own expectations - and make it clear to others too, you'll avoid a lot of disappointment. In the meantime, are there older friends you can meet up with? Even if you only see a couple of people a month, that's a pretty good start.

[venusss]

Um, if you asked somebody in my country (Czech Republic) for phone number after chatting with them for a bit in a Mall, they'd sent you to hell.

I often chat with people on happenings, or when we are together on some long bus or train ride and such. Yeah, sometimes we exchange numbers, but I never replied really. Why? We had nothing in common, except being at the same place at the same time.

Employees probably get asked for numbers a lot. Maybe they wanted to try it out, if they have something in common with you........ the spark wasn't there. Would you continue to text with somebody whom are you not interested in, just not to hurt their feelings? You know how exhausting it would if everybody had to keep in contact with everybody they ever met and gave their numbers to?

Don't go blaming your mental illness. It has nothing to do with this. You not isolating. You have trouble approaching people. But as others said, do it in places where you are more likely to meet people like you.

[A Red Panda]

None of those women were being unfriendly at all. In fact, they were being more friendly than they may have even been comfortable with, because it's easier to be friendly than to risk being labeled a b**** and risk to wrath of a random stranger. Especially while working.

I've given out fake numbers before... simply because I was isolated and worried about the backlash if I was to say no.

Don't blame your mental illness for the lack of responses. They have no idea about your health issues.

As the posters above have said - approaching women who are trying to do their job just isn't polite. Approach women in locations where you have a chance to meet more than once, and that way you don't need to place them in the awkward position of giving you their number before they know you a bit.

There is a place and a time to chat with someone ..
People who are working and you just met them will normally will not give you your number because they don't know you .
It has nothing to do with your illness it's has to do with common sense .
Woman and I am sure some men are not so freely at giving there personal phone number to a stranger that they just met .

Did you ever think maybe they had a b/f and when guy hits on a woman and ask for there number it's because he wants to call for a date . Just because you go up to someone with a pure heart dose not mean others welcome it because let's face it they don't know if your a nice guy or not even tho you are they don't know it they just met you .

If your looking for friends then join a group and then you will find people who are looking for what your looking like here is a great place to meet friends .
If your looking for people face to face then join some group , what do you enjoy doing ? Cooking , hiking , art find out your hobby and the rest will fall in place . But please don't blame it on your illness .

The mall is not a great place to meet friends people are rushing to get to one place to another , find a place where people are not rushing around like a park .
Where I live we have a dog park where you have your dog run around and people talk to each other now that would be a place . If you have a dog check your town and see if they have one .

[IchbinkeinTeufel]

Some brilliant, truthful replies, here. I think I pretty much agree with everyone else, I'm afraid.

[Koko2]

Is this how you've gotten girlfriends in the past? If so, maybe it's just the law of averages catching up on you. Maybe you could just go back to the mall and try, try again, or maybe try a bar or disco. I've tried macking out in public places like a mall a few times, and it didn't work for me.

[Disorder7]

I agree with the others. If you want to meet friends, take up a hobby. Take an art or photography class. Volunteer for community service. Anything.
At least you'll actually have something in common to talk about as friends.