Why are so many teachers having affairs with underage students?

I have come to notice teacher/student relationships are becoming quite the trend on the news lately especially between a woman teacher and a boy student and it seems like every time I look at Google News or Yahoo News there seems to be another one. The most recent was a teacher in New Zealand that had been having a relationship with a sixteen year old boy for over three years and even though she lost her job, her husband and her kids and is going to spend the next few years of her life behind bars what creeps me out is how intent this woman was with continuing the relationship with the boy and she actually said she loved him and they were going to get married when he turned eighteen.

Teacher/Student relationships are nothing new and most likely go back further than most of us think but in the last decade there appears to be an increase in them and I personally feel there is no form of paedophilia as bad as a teacher taking advantage of an young boy or girl and as a parent it makes me sick because teachers are supposed to be people that are in a position of trust and parents who send their kids to school trust a teacher to look after them and not rape them. I feel the schools are partly responsible for these relationships happening because with the history of Teachers having these sick types of relationships with students they should know it isn’t that uncommon and perhaps having video cameras in every classroom that is frequently monitored would stop or pick up on them before they even begin.

My question is what makes these teachers attracted to young children? Many of them that make the news headlines are already in relationships and marriages with people who appear to be completely oblivious to their partner’s attraction to children and some of them even have children the same age as their victims which is even more disturbing. Looking at it from a child’s perspective it makes sense and with the exception of my best friend/first girlfriend I was always more attracted to older women like my Sister’s best friends and I think it is only natural for children to be attracted to older men and women because it is just a crush and nothing more but when it is the opposite it is sick, sadistic and really ****ed up.

I don't disagree with anything you've said. However, I'll take the other side of this debate, and ask "Where were all these hot young teachers when I was in high school?" They all looked like my grandmother ;-)

Just like in every profession, there is a small percentage of people who are absolutely horrible.

The news typically only shows the most negative events they can come across - and a teacher/student sexual relationship is definitely up there for horrible events - as are murders.

It does not mean that loads of teachers are participating in such behaviours.

Placing video survellience in a room would not necessarily be beneficial for anyone. It's sorta breaching people's right to privacy - both students and teachers. If nothing else, it creates an environment of feeling like you're being watched by Big Brother... like you're in jail. It would be treating teachers like criminals and like we're all guilty (I am a teacher). Students would also feel like they're being treated as if they're guilty.

At the same time... a lot of teachers would like a camera in our rooms so that parents can't deny the behaviour of their children, and to protect ourselves both legally and physically.

Almost forgot to mention though - some parents do not give permission for photographs to be taken of their child. Although meant to be secure, there's always the chance of someone somehow getting access to the recordings and that would go against those parents wishes.

Oh, and as teachers, many of us try to help students deal with sensitive issues - which they'd be a lot less likely to confide if they feel like they're being watched (even if there were no sound recordings).

Like a lot of teachers, I suppose I'm rather mixed on my opinion of it!

Will we ever live to that day when news outlets would find time to come to schools and record the day-by-day job of teachers on cameras and make it newsworthy? The ABC's, the multiplication facts, the essential elements of a story, the story time, the special triangles, the evolution theory, the trig, the history of Middle Ages, the periodic table of elements...

... but no, unless there is that short word "sex" in it, that kind of stuff is too boring. Who cares about the multiplication table when there are computers?..

I am also curious why the teacher/student relationship has been called out as somehow involving a higher degree of trust than other relationships between adults and minors, such as priest/sunday school pupil, scout leader/scout, etc. ?

I do see them as more important - I cannot imagine an educated society without teachers, but priests and scout leaders are optional to me - but I do not see teachers as somehow owing a greater level of care to the children than other adults to whom the parents entrust their offspring.

Unless it is the mandatory aspect of schooling that you had in mind, BobbyDavis - did you mean to say that because parents MUST send the children to schools, the school administrators MUST exercise a greater level of scrutiny of teachers than, say, clerical bureaucrats or top level scout leadership? Can you please clarify what you meant? I do see how the governmental mandate of compulsory schooling would lead you to expect a higher degree of scrutiny of teachers. Please consider that some of the best teachers would find the practice of video surveillance disrespectful, to the point of being stultifying (thanks Red Panda for a first person account!), and as a result, some of the best teachers would migrate to other professions. So you might end up worse off, rather than better off.

If you personally worry about your child(ren)'s teachers' conduct, the best approach is to develop a close relationship with the teachers to get to know them well.

Just as a side note.. because I simply have to..

Really, no form as bad? What about a biological parent who does the same thing to their own child, taking advantage of their position of trust, exerted in an environment that is almost impossible to monitor, almost never questioned? It's heard about in the news far less, in part because it's reported far less, with subjugation and abuse being all the child knows sometimes, but also because it's so much more distasteful for people to consider, and especially parents. But it happens. Just not as titillating for the news bytes.

Why is society more accepting of a female predator than of a male? Because we are programed to believe that females are the kind and gentle nurturers who would never do such a thing. We are programmed to believe that predators are creepy looking older men.

My abuser was female, so I don't hold on to the common belief that women are "safer". I once watched a "Dateline" show about a woman who did the same, got involved with a male student, and she didn't believe that she should have to register as a sex offender as she thought she did nothing wrong. It wasn't just her stance that ticked me off, it was the slant that Dateline used to tell her story. I had to change the channel before the end as I was so mad that I wanted to throw something at the TV! Flip it all around, male teacher dating a female student. NOBODY would be sympathetic, but because the perpetrator is a woman, we are supposed to accept this sort of behavior, or at the very least show some understanding!?!??! I don't think so! Society needs to wake up and realize that women can be vicious predators just like men. Their MO may be a little bit different, but its all the same. You see that boundary at 18 years old? NOBODY should cross it as its there for a reason. Yes, some say its arbitrary as maturity doesn't always go by years, but at the same time, there is no better way to draw that line in the sand.

It's pretty clear they haven't been schooled in ethics.

No doubt. Not all teachers are paedophiles and I am sorry if I offended some members on here if they were thinking that was what I was insinuating.

One of my Sister’s closest friends is a Kindergarten Teacher and I know for a fact she would never do anything inappropriate with a student but teaching appears to be the profession a lot of paedophiles are taking up lately and I feel more measures need to be taken especially here in Australia to prevent them from getting in those positions including thorough background checks. What I honestly want to know is what makes a Teacher want to start a romantic or sexual relationship with an underage child because you would think there would have to be some kind of alarm clock going off upstairs saying it is wrong or “warning, warning Will Robinson” when they are crossing the line but maybe it all comes down to their childhood and how they were raised and they might not see it like most people do.

You often hear about these crimes and people say they are sick, twisted and deranged but you never truly get an answer as to why they do it. What triggers them to engage in this activity? What makes a person believe what they are doing is acceptable? What makes them want to take the risk of doing it when they also risk their reputation, their marriage or their lives? I don’t believe any person is born a murderer, serial killer, rapist, paedophile etc and there is often something that happens to them that makes them want to engage in these types of activities as wrong as they are. Whatever their reasons I just think crimes against children like that are the worst and they are scum and I don’t think there is any form of rehabilitating that can be done to fix these people because they are already too far gone.

I noticed one of the members on this thread mentioned a biological parent who does the same thing to their child and taking advantage of their position of trust. Welcome to my Sister’s life. When I was not getting the **** beaten out of me when he was drunk my Father would pop into my Sister’s room some nights and she would wake up to find his penis in front of her face and he would ask her to touch it for him and he would touch her inappropriately too. My Father wasn’t charged for doing this back then because like most cases here in Australia the law protects the criminals and the only way to truly get justice is to take the law into your own hands. My first girlfriend was killed in a car accident and over a decade later the same drunken driver that hit her is out and has moved on with his life and has a family while she can’t because she is dead. Media overlooks a lot of things along with the justice system.

Back when I went to school most of my teachers were in their 40s and 50s and I have noticed a lot of teachers are quite young now and some of them even look like they are in their early twenties which I am not exactly sure is a good thing or a bad thing now because most people I have met around that age act like children and aren’t very independent. My sister and her friends got married in their early twenties, had children, were working and were living in their own houses but when I look at the Gen Y’ers a lot of them are very immature and are still living with and off their parents, lack ambition and spend all day living on their mobile phones and I don’t think any of them are responsible enough to be teachers but maybe my area just has a lot of little turds.

I have to say these woman are stupid !
They take nude pictures of themselves and send it to the student ...
Hello what guy is not going to show off to his friends ?
Teacher having sex with a student same thing did the teacher not know guys brag about sex ???

I remember back in school male teachers flirt with female students as well as females flirt with male teachers .
I saw male students flirt with female teachers same as female teachers flirt with male students .
When you step into a HS it feel like a sex meet up not an education .

Yeah this is something I have noticed also. And what bothers me a lot is the fact that society very clearly sees it as MUCH worse when a man has an affair with a female student. It is actually quite mainstream for people to think that this shouldn't be a crime because "the boys want it". Really? Well, who's to say a girl can't also want it? I think society still holds double standards about how males and females are and how they should be treated. I always hear people talking about how they would torture/castrate/kill any man who slept with their daughter, but you would never hear someone saying this about a woman who sleeps with a teenage boy. I would actually go so far as to say many people have more hatred towards a 30 year old man who sleeps with a 22 year old woman(which is legal and morally ok) than towards a woman who sleeps with a teenage boy.

With that said, I do not think that having an affair with a 15-17 year old teen should be looked at the same as pedophilia. Pedophilia is when someone is attracted to CHILDREN, meaning prepubescent and early teens to some extent. I think this is on a whole different level and should be classified as rape. When we are talking about 15-17 year old teens, I don't think it is the same. In many countries 16-17 is actually legal. If it is illegal, then it certainly should not be classified on the same level as rape or pedophilia. I would actually go as far as to say that it should not land a person on the sex offender registry. It is pretty much the norm for 16-17 year olds to be having sex these days. I think a lot of the stigma is really just the same as the stigma towards men dating younger women in general. It's because people see young women as pure and innocent and think they need to be protected from sexually driven males. This is why you see a much bigger stigma towards men sleeping with underage females than the other way around. This is an outdated medieval mentality, reasonable people realize that females are just as capable as men of making their own decisions about sex.

However, with that said, teachers caught having sex with students should definitely be fired and never allowed to teach again.

"Where were all these hot young teachers when I was in high school?"

My question is, where are all these women for the men their own age who are looking for sex? It seems to me like most women 25+ in interactions with men in their own age group seem generally uninterested in having these flings and are looking for commitment for to be left alone. Kinda makes me wonder if adolescent aged boys have some special power over women sexually or something...

I think you are overlooking the romantic side of these relationships.

What makes these relationships even more disturbing in my opinion is the fact many of these female teachers claim to be in love with the male students and want to marry them when they get out of jail and the students are the legal age to do so. Some people believe they form a Mother’s love for them to begin with and the closer they get to them the more that love evolves into something else and the same can be said in some cases with male teacher/ female student relationships. I just think it is sick and twisted and the gender of the offender doesn’t make a difference to me. As for people believing all women are pure and innocent I don’t think anybody believes that except maybe Dave up the road and Dave up the road isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed. My Wife was severely bullied growing up by boys and girls and the girls that bullied her were far from ‘pure’ or ‘innocent’ as you put it. There are good and bad women in the world just like there are good men and bad men and gender has nothing to do with it.

I think girls who bully do so more cruelly than boys, at least at the middle school level. Boys might be more physical in bullying, but girls can be more manipulative, and it is not clear which is worse.

This has nothing to do with the thread topic, but just a comment on what you wrote about your wife's suffering when she was growing up. In my experience, girls can be meaner than boys.

I have to respectfully disagree with you. I have a niece and a nephew around those ages and they are still kids and if a teacher tried to have a relationship with them I definitely wouldn't want to be in that Teacher's shoes after their Mother tracked them down. Anybody under the age of 18 is still a kid to me and the idea of anybody around my age having a relationship with them makes me want to throw up.

I agree. Some girls can definitely be bullies but speaking as somebody with ADHD, Asperger's Syndrome and OCD I found most of the bullying (physical and emotional) towards people with disabilities was done by males and most of my female friends were far more accepting of me having disabilities when I told them compared to some of my male friends that didn't want anything to do with me even after we had been friends for over a decade.

OK - BobbyDavis, this one is humorous, I just want to make sure that you see that I am teasing you rather than wanting to have a serious argument. So with this, here goes:

Oh wow, I sure am happy you weren't around in the 19th century - I never would have had a chance to receive the gift of life otherwise. My great great grandmother was married at 16, to a man who was 43 and just finished the army in which he served for 25 years, and my greatgrandmother was their first child, born when her mom was 17, and her mom and dad went on to have a huge family in which each child, both boys and girls, were educated at the university level, and they lived together until he died, and his widow lived for several more decades as a widow enjoying the love and respect of her grandchildren. Amen.

I mean, really, I always wonder when I see comments such as yours, BobbyDavis, what people are thinking as they type it, because I cannot believe that I am the sole person on that part of the planet where 15-17 year olds are considered minors who can say the name of one his or her not-so-distant-ancestors who was married before age 18 and yet survived fine into old age??

Also, do you not remember yourself at 16? I would not have liked being called a kid at 16, and I was not a kid - I was a highly responsible adolescent.

There is this great area called adolescence.

It is real.

It manifests differently in different cultures, but it exists - it is real.

The age limits are arbitrary, for crying out loud Shadix made a good point about affairs with 15-17 y.o. not being paedophilia, and some people are adults at 16 and others are not adults at 22, but the law cannot be so finely tuned so we have what we have, and once the rules are in place, everybody should follow them including the teachers, but, while understanding that those are arbitrary rules and arbitrary lines that we drew, as a society, to the best of our ability. It does not mean that anybody under the age of 18 is still a kid because it is not true - it is contrary to reality. Trace back to the times when the average lifespan was 30 years old and let us impose your limit on them ==> everybody under the age of 18 is still a kid and thus cannot mate.

OK, so you will allow them to mate at 18 and produce offspring at 19. Then, the firstborn would on average live with the parent for 11 years, the next child for 9 and the third child only for 7.

Do you think that it would be enough for the children? No child would live to be an adult (using your definition, at 18) while still having a living parent.

I simply do not think that such a regiment would have been really good for our civilization. In other words, I do not think that I would be sitting here and typing. I do not think that computers would have been invented. And numeration, too. And literacy. And without literacy, there would not have been Shakespeare's Romeo and Juliet - the tale of two 14 year old adolescents.

Since I do very much enjoy being alive, sitting here and typing a letter to a real Australian, knowing that if I ever have money, I can visit Australia thanks to the existence of passenger air travel, I have to say that I am deeply thankful to the fact that my ancestry has been allowed to procreate outside of the bounds of what does not make you throw up, with which I remain, puzzled at how quickly people forget their roots,

I should have been more clear. Girls can be meanER when they bully other girls. So girls who bully girls often do so more viciously than boys who bully boys.

I should have been more clear. Girls can be meanER when they bully other girls. So girls who bully girls often do so more viciously than boys who bully boys.