I just want to destroy all my bridges

These people are useless. On facebook, in real life, I have nobody that bothers with me. I'm just a hater, I should kill myself. My friends don't talk to me, I shouldn't own a phone. I am not good enough, I just want to fight them all and beat them all up. I don't care how many knock outs I take, I don't care if it kills me. I just want all of them gone, I don't want to wake up here anymore.

No more No more, all of them have to go. I want to tell them all to **** off and go ****ing die. Since you want me to you get the same respect and then I'll block everyone. It won't accomplish anything, but why should I care. I don't and shouldn't. I am going to delete it, I got no friends anyways why should I bother having one.

I am scared to talk to anyone. I punch myself in the face to prevent myself to. I'm a five year old. Someone just beat it out of me. Just punch me over and over till I can't think for myself. It's all I want.

Where is all this anger coming from what is the root of this anger ?

dying alone, people wanting to kill me and hurt me like before abandoning me like before. It happened. many times and I am feeling it will happen again. Being more isolated than I am now.

maybe that I really have no clue

I read your profile your a music proudcer , when you listen to music dose it help calm you down into a peaceful person and you feel safe?

yeah sometimes, it's my job. I haven't received my royalty checks yet, but definitely getting recognition in very high places. I only wanted fame just to be free and noticed. I go through many rituals in my bathroom and clothes and behavior just to achieve perfection.

I just get very angry, when I can't have my freedom to make my music in my peace and quiet alone. Being booted for my dad to watch tv in the basement and being very loud where I can never concentrate. They don't do this, when I have a call in to make tracks for the label I'm with.

I understand , if music help you then use that as a tool to help you feel safe and if you can make a living out of it then how cool is that !

Can you build a quiet room for you to record your music so outside noise won't disturb your work ?

no. unfortunately. I am saving my money to move out, I'm trying to be very far away. I'm trying to work my freedom. I am 20 and I'm not out socializing and I'm starving for it.

I'm saving my money for a place with rooms and a room where I can do that on my own.

ok well that's good .. keep your mind on your goal and that is to move out that will give you the motivation to reach your goal .

do u go to concerts that is a great way to meet people your age

no I should, I'd rather perform at them, but this city is a death trap for upcoming artists. I can go see shows though. I have been to a few including zedd when he ran into me.

That is how you can meet real new people , just start talking to someone who knows you might click with someone .
Don't burn bridges with people because you never know when you might need them in the future .
Get a good punching bag and let out your anger in a healthy way . Use music as a " safe place in your mind , because yelling at someone dose no good it only brings stress , sadness and loneliness at the end . And u don't want that .

Use your anger in a positive way buy punch a bag , it dose not have to be an expensive
one , look on craigslist you can always make a good deal or maybe do a trade for something .
Plus ..
1- It's healthy you will build muscle and get fit
2 - Your not hurting anyone physical or mentally
3 - You will feel so much better letting it all out

I went out for a job today and I work out regularly anyways. Exercise does help.

I hope you get the job , is it with music or something else ?

I meant jog

oh ok ...

I have two jobs, probably going to work for three for right now.