[ontheotherside]

First, let me apologize for ranting, I just need to get this out.

I have been dating a guy since march, and things had been going awesome. We really connected, and spending time with him makes me so happy. Lately though, he's been having trust issues. To put a long story short, he doesn't trust me talking to my ex (who lives overseas) via any social network or email. Now, to be fair, I very much had feelings for my ex for the longest time, however, those feelings eventually faded and now we just want to be friends. I am ok with this, he is ok with it, but my boyfriend is not. He looked at my email and found a few emails between my ex and i, (which i was NOT hiding, I had informed him that we had emailed) and he freaked out! but instead of being an adult, he sends me a passive aggressive text message right before he has to go to work. I have confronted him, and he just keeps telling me he can't trust me with anything i say. He says he believes me that i don't have feelings for my ex, but then what is that problem? why can't he just talk to me like a normal human being, instead of trying to be sneaky and passive about it?! I love this man, but this is the third time this has come up, and each time he says its resolved. I've tried everything, I tell him i simply won't talk to my ex, and then he gets all upset because he doesn't want me not talking to my ex because of him. But if that is what will make him happy and comfortable and be able to trust me again, i have NO problem doing that. He just doesn't seem to get that. I would do anything for him, and if i don't talk to my ex he thinks I'm doing it begrudgingly, and if i do he thinks i'm pining after my ex! RAHHHHH! I don't know how this will be resolved, and i really hope it does. I don't want him to hold this over my head forever, and so far thats what it looks like. My boyfriend means so much to me, and yes i know its fairly early in our relationship, but i just want us to be able to communicate effectively and to just be honest with each other. Do i think i have to tell him every time my ex emails me? No. Should i? i don't think i should. I know i am not completely innocent in this topic, but i don't know what else to do. My ex and i didn't talk for months, then he shoots me an email, and suddenly i've been lying to my boyfriend and sneaking around. Which I have NOT.
I'm just so frustrated, and every time i try and talk to my bf it doesn't seem like we get anywhere. I'm always the bad guy. He says he doesn't like confrontation, and that he feels like he's just going to upset me, and then feel guilty about upsetting me. YES it upsets me, but because we can't talk about this like adults!

Sorry about the rant, but I did warn you. If you have any advice or anything, please reply. I'm in dire need of some compassion and direction. This doesn't even encompass everything else i'm dealing with. Seeing my bf is the best part of my day, and now I just feel like i've screwed everything up somehow.

[Jan1212]

It seems like he sounds insecure if you told him that you still talk to your ex and assured there is nothing to worry about. He should really sit down during a calmer time, like when you take him out to lunch, to discuss his feelings openly, but he seems like he's not the type to be comfortable with you talking to your ex. Especially because he doesn't know your ex, maybe if he can get to know him somehow maybe skype?