A couple days ago I was really depressed and loathing myself, and I made the mistake of saying to my mom "I'm so fat! I need to lose weight!"
Lo and behold, I start to notice mom being more careful about what she eats, going to the gym... and today she says to her partner she can't have a bagel because she's "watching her weight"! WTF?
I know I've been self centered these past few months... so maybe she's been feeling insecure too. But it feels like an accusation. I told her I was depressed and then I told her I felt fat and needed help. I asked her to stop buying ice cream for a while (which she refused to comply with, as usual, saying I needed to exercise self control... which is true, I tend to emotionally eat. But would it be so terrible for her to go without ice cream for a week or two???? Or to buy a cone when she felt the urge??)
So instead of supporting me and helping me by keeping ice cream out of the pantry for a while, my mom responds by dieting and acting insecure.
This sucks. If I told her I had the flu, would she respond by feigning symptoms? No. But as soon as I confide in her she becomes a ball of insecurities.... My self-bashing is not a reflection on you!!!!! Especially if it's misplaced! Furthermore, the fact that she took my overblown self hatred seriously makes me think she actually does think that I'm fat. Which makes the problem worse than before. Way to go mom.

[CANDC]

Sorry to hear you are frustrated by your mother's actions and lack of active support.
Maybe she is backing off a bit to allow you to chart your own course. Maybe she is afraid of what seems from your posting to be anger at her. It is hard to give hugs when you might get bitter words.
Maybe some of the other forums having to do with food might be helpful.
http://forums.psychcentral.com/

[healingme4me]

What would happen if you addressed her, by asking why she's dieting, when it was you saying you felt fat?