[Factory Poet]

Folks,
It been almost 4 months since my ex girlfriend broke up with me and I still find myself hurting. I don't blame her and trust her reasons for not staying together. Yet, this is strange because we were only together for 8 months. It was a very intense relationship emotionally, sexually, socially. Her family who I adore and who adored me have been taken away from me. She won't even consider a friendship between us because the breakup and my attempts to get her back "was too hard" on her. I keep going over our pictures together: on Facebook, my cell phone, her website. I see other people, go out with friends regularly, but, I can't let her go...and she doesn't even want to be with me.

I am already on a prescription anxiety/depression regiment, do I need shock therapy???

[~Christina]

No shock therapy needed...

You need to Stop , just Stop looking at the pictures and facebook and cellphone pics, stay away from her websites. You will never get over the acute "hurting" if you insist on seeing pics of you together or her alone. Grieve the loss and then move on.

You have to let her go , because she is no longer "yours" she broke off the relationship.

There is no medication to help you do this, all you need to do is accept that it wasn't meant to be and move on with your life.

Take care

[eskielover]

Christina is exactly correct.

The only thing that one can to is accept that she is gone out of your life.....grieve the loss of what you WISHED would continue forever & let it go. There isn't a medication in the world that can help you do that....it's something that you have to do on your own in your own mind.

You have a whole future ahead of you with NEW things to fill it....don't waste your life living in the past....& stopping looking at the photos is the best place to start.

It's NORMAL to grieve a lost relationship that wasn't one that you ended & had no desire to end.....but it happened & it's over & as with all deaths whether human or relationship.....one has to continue with their own life & walk on open to the new things that will come into your life.

If a relationship is meant to be....it will happen, When the other person doesn't come to have the same feel & end the relationship, the only thing that can be done is to let go, accept it's over, grieve, & get on with life.

[hamster-bamster]

Why did you get on a prescription/anxiety medication regiment? And when?

4 months is not a long time. I wonder if you had unrealistic expectations, then pathologized the normal process of grieving the loss, then went to a family physician who was all to happy to write a script for you. Since you do not appear ACUTELY depressed - you go out with friends regularly and see other people - I wonder why you need medication in the first place. If you got on the medication due to a valid underlying mental illness which started before the breakup, it is one thing, but if you are trying to patholigize the norm and medicate against it, then I think that you should reconsider your approach. Say, some people in your situation would turn to alcohol and it is frowned upon, more or less, but nowadays, getting a script for normal phases of life is considered appropriate; I think that both excessive alcohol consumption and medications in this case prolong the suffering, because they blunt emotions without letting them run their own course and STOP. Just bottled up emotions that would one day backfire.

If you have a mental illness which was diagnosed before the breakup, you can disregard everything I have said.

I totally understand. When I connect with someone it takes me a very long time to even start to get over when it ends.