[plynstrom261]

I am a twenty year old female, and am utterly unfamiliar with what normal dating should like and would like a second opinion. What is going on with this guy?

I dated a man, fifteen years my senior, who on the first day I met him starting mentioning marriage, asking if I'd like to meet his family and even told me that he loved me. He then hardly contacted me for two weeks and kept asking me if I loved him and encouraged me to always text/call him and would never do it himself. He also made strange comments including "you have to do everything I say and can't say no", and he seemed pretty serious.

This was basically how he acted for over a month. Coming on very strong and then disappearing and he was not interested in sex.

He's intelligent and has a good job (I think) but his actions are utterly perplexing

Thanks in advance for your opinions!

[~Christina]

Why are you even concerned ???? Hes already told you he expects you do what he wants and you cant say no?

Does that not raise a red enough flag that wasnt already on high alert when you first met him and hes talking about marriage and love ?

Dont you want a loving relationship or become a dog on a leash for him?

[ptangptang]

Whoa girl !!!! ( facepalm) .WTF!!! There are enough red flags there for you to have done a sub 4 minute mile running away from him. Hi Christina. :-)

[~Christina]

Hiya Ptang

It doesn't matter what's wrong with him he's already showing enough red flags to imply he can be very dangerous.

Run before you get any deeper. It will only get worse.

[Webgoji]

I agree with the others. That guy's nothing but trouble.

You aren't obligated to do anything in a relationship. People do things for each other because they want to. But any time some guy starts demanding things and telling you that you can't say no, then it's just the start of the abuse.

[HockingPastryChef]

I agree with all these comments.

I wouldn't contact him anymore; there are too many red flags already.

I would also be prepared to possibly get stalked when you choose to not contact him anymore. I really hope he doesn't become a stalker.

[hvert]

Agree with everyone else -- there is nothing normal about this dating situation.

[Rose76]

It's not that important to decide whether or not there is something wrong with him. Is there something wrong with you dating a man whom you find creepy?

It doesn't sound like he's that into you. More like he's looking for a woman to fill a position he's hiring for.

Be careful. This guy could be dangerous, if he thinks he can expect you to play a certain role and then gets disappointed.

[BobbyDavis]

I think there could be. Telling somebody you love them after only knowing them for one day is odd because you haven't known them long enough to really 'know' them. I knew I liked my first from the first day I met her but I didn't fall in love with her until after we had been friends with each other for a few months and she was the one that said she loved me first.

I don't know. Young people (especially teenagers) move a lot quicker than they did when I was younger and I have heard a lot of Gen Y couples have sex on the first date so it might be possible and I might just be getting old.

[Rose76]

I wonder what happened in previous relations that he was in. Since he is 15 years older than you, I figure you are not his first girlfriend.

The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. Knowing something about his past come be very illuminating. There's a reason why he's single and fancy-free at the moment. If he talks about past romantic failures, listen for the message between the lines. Always assume that what a person tells you about their past is heavily edited to make them look good, or not so bad.

[hamster-bamster]

Originally Posted by HockingPastryChef

I agree with all these comments.

I wouldn't contact him anymore; there are too many red flags already.

I would also be prepared to possibly get stalked when you choose to not contact him anymore. I really hope he doesn't become a stalker.

I would take precautions - the guy, by consensus, is extremely creepy, so you never know. In Toronto the days are short now, so you would be walking alone and in the dark a lot. Maybe put on biker safety items (neon-colored reflectors and the like) to be visible? Maybe even notify the police in advance. What he told you about obeying him is enough to warrant a call to the police. Maybe just to pick their brain. Ask for their recommendations. Tell the police what you have told on here. See what they have to say. If you know his real name, maybe the police can run a search - I do not know, but I would not be surprised if he is dating a whole herd of young ladies telling them that he wants them to meet his family because he expects that some foolish young lady would bite the bait. Luckily you are not foolish. I guess I was trying to say that since the guy behaves extremely weirdly, it could be that the police know about him already and your report would be an addition to the file they have. Or maybe not, but talking to them would not hurt.