[Phoenixashes8356]

Hi,

So I am not sure if this is the right place to post this. But I am really struggling in my relationships with my family. No one in my family believes that my mental illnesses are serious and that I should be taking meds. My diagnoses are Bipolar Disorder, PTSD and GAD. I think I should take meds but I really want their compassion and support on this. And it's really hard hearing every time my mental health is brought up that they hate meds and that I should overcome this with willpower. And me not communicating with them isn't an option because my family financially supports me. Can someone please explain how I can get them to understand? Or it is not worth trying and I should just do what is best for me?

[shn146]

Hello and welcome to PC... Firstly are you self diagnosed or have you consulted a professional? If you havent, then your first priority should be to get a expert opinion... Your doctor can point you in the right direction... Once a professional has diagnosed you, it will he easier for your family to accept that you need more help than just willpower... it has taken me 31 years to get any help, cos of a similar situation to yours... the pressure of family members making it out to be nothing serious... but i regret not getting help earlier as my condition just got worse...

You have to look out for yourself... but in the right way... seek professional help and get your family on your side... it is hard for everyone in the beginning but eventually it all falls in place and everybody accepts and helps... i wish you all the best and hope you get help from everyone...

Lets shed our final tear,
I wish you all Happy New Year...

[Phoenixashes8356]

I have a professional diagnosis and I really hope they come around.

[shn146]

Originally Posted by Phoenixashes8356

I have a professional diagnosis and I really hope they come around.

Have the professional speak to them... hang in there... they will come around...

Lets shed our final tear,
I wish you all Happy New Year...

[Phoenixashes8356]

shn146, I actually tried having a professional speak to my mom. We had a family meeting and one of the ladies who worked at the hospital I stayed at talked to her and gave her articles on Bipolar Disorder. But my mom still doesn't get it. She still believes that this is just a hiccup and I'll get over it. I just feel so hopeless...

[shn146]

Wow... flashbacks... this definitely seems like deja vu for me... the only difference my dad was adamant that noone in his family can have a mental disorder... even today after 31 years after i finally decided i need help and have gone and got it, he is still in denial...

I would advise you to keep a healthy relationship with your family alongwith taking meds and advise from professionals... Let your family know that this is something you need to do for the good of your future and theirs... that you respect their opinion and if they are not willing to accept at this stage you will not hold it against them... but also they should respect the fact that you feel you need help and you will get it... be polite and respectful everytime you speak to your family... i know it is hard, but if you keep patience they will come around... also please speak to your therapist and get the correct help that you need... it will take time... it will be hardwork... but it will pay off if you keep calm and composed...

And our friends here at PC are always are here to help...

Lots of hugs...

Lets shed our final tear,
I wish you all Happy New Year...

[shn146]

Sorry for all the spelling and grammer mistakes... my zopiclone ia kicking in... will be knocked out pretty soon...

Lets shed our final tear,
I wish you all Happy New Year...

[Phoenixashes8356]

Thanks. I realize now that I have to do what's best for me. But I still want my family's support...

[~Christina]

Sometimes family's will just never "get it" and you have to accept that and just move forward treating your illness and learning ways to cope and help you live a wonderful life.

Finding a local "group therapy" will put you in a position to meet others that are in the same boat and will "get it" Also posing here on PC is helpful , No judgement , we all "get it"

Hopefully your family will finally come around until then, just work on feeling better.

Welcome to PC

[Phoenixashes8356]

Thanks ~Christina. I might try to find a local group that would understand.

[uncertain mom]

Phoenix, as a family member who has just started this journey with my daughter, although different may let you see where thier road block is. All our lives we are conditioned to think that illnesses that do not physically dibilitate us will heal with little to no medication. Just eat well and sleep and your body will heal itself. From colds to fevers to most common illnesses. After research , talking with doctors and really listening my thoughts and beliefs did a 180. They may be stuck in the rut of what they have believed about illness thier whole lives. It may take more time for them to learn this will not just go away like a scrape on a knee. I hope they do start to understand soon even if just in baby steps.

[Mygrandjourney]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

Sometimes family's will just never "get it" and you have to accept that and just move forward treating your illness and learning ways to cope and help you live a wonderful life.

Finding a local "group therapy" will put you in a position to meet others that are in the same boat and will "get it" Also posing here on PC is helpful , No judgement , we all "get it"

Hopefully your family will finally come around until then, just work on feeling better.

Welcome to PC

Great advice and well said. Families often go through the same stage of change process that clients do, which starts with denial, ambivalence, recognition/acceptance, planning and then action. There may be someone in your parents' life (relative, clergy, another physician, etc) who understands mental illness and whose opinion they would respect; if so, I would recommend contacting that person and discussing this with them (if you have any rapport with him/her).

[porcelain_pain]

"Let your family know that this is something you need to do for the good of your future and theirs... that you respect their opinion and if they are not willing to accept at this stage you will not hold it against them"

^ Nope. I agree that you should be civil and respectful, but don't tell your parents you respect their opinion when a) you don't and b) their opinions are not respectable. Telling them that you respect their opinion is feeding into the idea that they could be right, which they aren't.

From my own experience, it is NOT worth trying. My parents love my very much, but REFUSE to accept mental illness, and that's not going to change. However, I am financially independent, so it was easier for me to just cut down my communication with them, and that doesn't seem to be an option for you. Take comfort in knowing that this is a common problem among people like us - family not understanding us.

One option for you is to explain the condition in simpler terms that they might understand: For instance, you might say you have an anger problem (or anxiety or depression). Anger is so fundamental, and most people on Earth can understand it and empathize with people who suffer from it. So, in other words, instead of bringing up the diagnoses like Bipolar, bring up the symptoms (like anxiety/depression), which are easier to understand.

Explain it to them, calmly, in their terms, and that you need their help to get through it. If they insist that you can overcome it with will power, explain that you have tried very hard, and that it's not as easy as they think it is.

The key is to be calm but serious, don't lose your cool when talking about these issues. I understand that you are frustrated with them for not understanding you. But, from life experience, the one universal truth is that messages conveyed calmly make it across to the other side, and messages conveyed heatedly end up in the toilet.