[Shadix]

I made a post about my brother a while back. Basically he a very strong opinion about EVERYTHING, not just important issues that matter, but even when it is something as simple as whether not a movie or show is good. And he can never leave it at "I don't like this show or this movie" he always has to go into a lecture explaining why it is objectively bad and basically implies that the people who like it are somehow stupid.

Normally I would just avoid any discussions with him about these things because I never really have a "case" set up like he does, but recently I've made a point of speaking up about it when I don't agree with him. What amazes me is how is passionate about these things to the point where he refuses to just back down and accept that the other person disagrees with him. For example there is this show he hates and constantly talks trash about. I haven't seen enough of it to formulate an opinion, but he seems to expect me to just agree with him anyways. One time I was saying how I didn't want any spoilers because I might end up watching it, and I just snapped and told him "well that's just your opinion we don't have the same taste about everything." And instead of getting the idea that I didn't like him imposing his opinion on me and backing off, he replied, "Nope it's a crappy show." And when I replied, "I don't know, I'll be the judge of that" he again continued. "Nope it is a crappy show." It seems like he is just compelled to make everyone agree with his opinions, which I just cannot understand. Who gives a **** if someone likes a "crappy show" anyways? I always thought people having different opinions is what made the world more interesting. He talks about people liking certain shows like it's a serious injustice, like racism or homophobia.

What exactly is his problem? What causes people to be overly opinionated anyways? Does this not bother other people like it bothers me? I am asking because despite all this, he is actually very well liked socially and has lots of female friends in particular, while I am awkward and can't talk to girls. Do girls just prefer guys like that maybe? It would explain why the internet is full of posts by women complaining about how their exes are egotistical jerks.

[Koko2]

Do you have to associate with him? Are you both still living with your parents?

[Shadix]

I'm still living with my parents, he's not, but he still comes to stay with us sometimes.

[toolman65]

What he truly wants from you is engagement.

Next time he starts with "it's a crappy show" or whatever, agree with him.

End of discussion.

[Steiner of Thule]

Some people just like to talk I think lol.

[Koko2]

Originally Posted by toolman65

What he truly wants from you is engagement.

Next time he starts with "it's a crappy show" or whatever, agree with him.

End of discussion.

I think that's the technique that Shadix usually uses by default, being nonconfrontational, but he's apparently grown tired of it.

[Shadix]

Another "discussion" tonight. He was basically foaming at the mouth talking about how he hates gamers and how part of him would like it if all video games disappeared from the world so that they can be miserable. All this because he is a feminist and there have been a lot of gamers making misogynistic comments in online message boards. Ironic because he is a gamer himself. But the level of hatred he displays when he goes on these rants is almost frightening. He is one step away from calling for these people to be put in concentration camps. I seriously think there is something wrong with people like him.

Unfortunately he is exactly the type of guy who girls gravitate to: the passionate, articulate, extroverted, super confident type. It's no wonder there are so many women end up on message boards complaining about their abusive egotistical boyfriends.

[toolman65]

I do agree with him about the whole "Gamergate" fiasco. It is criminal what has happened to women in the world of video games.

As for him, have you ever considered that all this "super confidence" is just an act? He may be insecure on a major level. These never ending sermons may be an attempt to attract admirers. To bolster his fragile ego.

To me, a secure, confidant person recognizes that their self worth is not reliant upon getting others to agree with them.

From Game of Thrones:

King Joffrey; "I am the king!!!"

Tywin Lannister; "Any man who must say ' I am the king' is no true king."

[~Christina]

May I ask what does your parents think of him and his behavior?

[Shadix]

Originally Posted by ~Christina

May I ask what does your parents think of him and his behavior?

My parents don't usually seem to be very bothered by it when he goes on his opinionated rants, but he also has a habit of constantly criticizing their behavior, at times it is more frequent than others. I know this bothers them sometimes, maybe not as much as it bothers me, but it does and they have indicated it to me before. But usually, they don't want to start a fight, so they don't confront him about it.

[Shadix]

Originally Posted by toolman65

I do agree with him about the whole "Gamergate" fiasco. It is criminal what has happened to women in the world of video games.

As for him, have you ever considered that all this "super confidence" is just an act? He may be insecure on a major level. These never ending sermons may be an attempt to attract admirers. To bolster his fragile ego.

To me, a secure, confidant person recognizes that their self worth is not reliant upon getting others to agree with them.

From Game of Thrones:

King Joffrey; "I am the king!!!"

Tywin Lannister; "Any man who must say ' I am the king' is no true king."

Yes I agree that the whole Gamergate thing is ridiculous, but that is just a few isolated incidents and to say that represents the gamer population as a whole is just stupid and offensive to many people. What's ironic is that my brother is liberal and condemns people who pass judgments on entire races or cultures or religions, but he here he is using the EXACT same thought process when it comes to judging gamers. It is mind boggling to me that he doesn't see the similarity.

What I find really odd though is that HE IS A GAMER. It is quite common for him to pass these kinds of judgments on fan bases which he is not a part of, which is something that many closed minded egocentric people do. But when it comes to gamers, it is different, because this is a group that he is part of and should be able to identify with. I know already that if he wasn't a gamer himself, he would be one of those people who criticize video games as being a waste of time or something like that. One could easily make that argument, but he doesn't simply because he plays video games.

I've thought about the possibility that he is actually insecure. It's possible I guess. But I am insecure and my insecurity drives me to be quiet and avoid arguments. But it does almost seem like he feels threatened by people who have a different opinion than him. When he doesn't like a show/movie/game, it's like he PASSIONATELY doesn't want it to be popular. I've never been able to understand this.

[toolman65]

If he truly wants people to hear his opinion, then he has to get a channel on YouTube. He can post videos on why this show/movie/game sucks, etc.

Then people can critique him, for a change.

[~Christina]

I agree with Toolman

Reality is you cant control his stupid actions But.. You can control how "you" React to it.

he sounds incredibly difficult. i would somehow stand my ground, and show him how irritating and bulshy he is being.