[Big_Bear]

So, I recently broke up with my girlfriend of nine months due to a few differences that became issues in my mind. My g/f was not very affectionate neither emotionally nor physically. She never showed emotion and stated a few times that she "does not like being emotional," and "doesn't want to get her feelings involved." She also was not very physically affectionate and her kiss seemed so bland. She would kiss me and immediately pull back like she didn't want to kiss, we never "made out." We did not have too many deep conversations, which is big for me, I like deep intellectual conversation. The only time she really REALLY passionately kissed me was right after a short break up, and I was like "where has this passion been this whole time?" She said she would try and open up and be more affectionate after that short break up, and I also said I would work on calming down. I am very neurotic and can be overly affectionate. I worked on calming my mind and my issues and even began to see a therapist; however, I didn't see any changes in her, no effort. Kisses went back to being bland and she continued to smoke a lot of weed. I do not really like weed too much. Parents smoke weed a lot to escape from each other and us kids. They become distant after smoking and don't show any affection towards anyone nor each other. My g/f was like this, she would get high and not be into the conversation and would never be in the mood. I am a man who feels that physical affection and love making are very important in relationships, and I feel like I need the affection. I don't like just sitting in the presence of my SOP and doing nothing all the time.

I guess I'm just lost and don't know if I made the right decision breaking up with her or not. I work with her and see her a lot. We have many of the same friends. I know she is hurt, but I know that if we got back together the same issues would just come up. The weed, the non-affection etc...

Is this feeling in my gut post break-up anxiety that will go away or is it telling me we should be together? I don't know... Cant decipher it....

[Fuzzybear]

[curley]

Big Bear, wanting what you want in a relationship is not to much to ask for.
Smoking pot has always made me more affectionate. I have witnessed the same response from others. but I have noticed the isolation affect with other drugs. SO.... I don't know if I think that was this girls problem.
Anyone that tells you they do not want to show their emotions, in my opinion has issues.
And affection is great although you said you are sometimes overly affectionate. Just remember there is a time and place.
Personally I think you made the right decision. I think it is normal to feel sad after a breakup and so you wonder if you did the right thing. Give it a while, stay busy. Say hi if you see her and work and keep it quick and light.
Good luck to you