[emol8888]

Hi All,

Thanks for taking the time to read this. It's really helpful to hear your perspectives, so thanks for your willingness and kindness because it gives me the courage to share. I wanted to share something I'm struggling with right now because it's giving me a lot of anxiety, and I want to hear how some of you coped with it.

Alright folks I'll keep it relatively short. I've been going a little cuckoo bananas lately :-) → :-0. What does it mean to let go of a relationship for you? Little about me, I'm 22, dated a girl for 4 months, she's a junior in college, I just graduated. We're both pretty accomplished people and IMO, both do our best to be the best people we could be. I had good times with her and she was my first girlfriend and first real relationship. I was really immature throughout it though, specifically with my clingy behavior. I was behaving really needy and tried to make our relationship more intimate than it was by texting her a lot, calling her every day, telling her I missed her. I would also get upset when she would take awhile to respond to my texts and cancelled out phone calls. She tried her best and I saw that, and I put a lot of pressure on her. When we broke up, we weren't sad at all really, but kind of just relieved. I didn't love her, adore her, or all that rom com sappy talk, but I did respect her accomplishments. I admired the way she earned the respect of her friends, teammates, and her loyalty to her family, and I thought she was really a good person. So when you have to let go of someone like that in your life, especially a romantic partner, and know that you pushed them away when they really liked you too, it stinks. We had our close moments (I did take her virginity), but I tried to make it like we were in a 2 year relationship or something, and it just wasn't that. I want to reconnect with her, but I think the only reason I'd be doing so is to make sure she's not mad or upset with me, so I'd just be making myself feel better, not her, and that's not fair to her or productive for me, so I think it's better to let go and move on.

I think I learned from being needy that when you act this way, you don't really love the person for who they are, flaws and all, but for the need they filled for you. It's one of those things like, you kind of have to be angry with a person at times, you know, to know? You need to get to the point of frustration where you question whether this person is right for you to know that you really love them. And I never let it get to that point, but tried to keep that frustration from ever happening. So we never got as intimate as I tried to be and now we're not even talking anymore. And then we got frustrated with each other. It's a disappointing thing, but I try to remind myself that life goes on.

For those who have done this before, how'd you move on and how'd you improve yourself? I'm seeing a psychiatrist and our sessions have been very helpful in finding out what's at the root of my neediness. It's a good but long road ahead. I joined some clubs, learned more about myself, and am trying to date some more. My friends even say I look pretty good. And I'm trying to learn the guitar (right on, bro). But seriously, I'm still embarrassed for my behavior and annoyed that I put pressure on both of us. And I'm very sad about all that's transpired. So, how'd you move on 1. From letting someone go who you knew was a good person and taught you a lot and 2. (the thing I'm having a hard time with), accepting and moving on from your immature, and in retrospect, needy behavior?

Much love people.

[PianogirlPlays]

Seems like you are learning a lot and you are still quite young with a lot of life ahead of you.