[hertha13]

Long story short: my boyfriend and I have been friends for over 12 years and in a relationship for over one year. We've been through a lot together as friends over the years, and generally our relationship is pretty good. During our friendship he had gone into the army and served 3 tours in Iraq, and now due to his experiences he has TBI and PTSD - sometimes pretty severe. As for myself, I typically suffer from generalized anxiety disorder, although lately I have been having heavy depression and haven't gotten out of bed much (which is highly abnormal for me).

Because of these issues, along with some life stresses (employment, finances, and we each have a teenager with other people), the last couple of months we have been having a lot of extra stress and issues. My depression has been particularly bad and he gets frustrated with me. While his PTSD episodes cause him to sometimes not participate in family functions or planned activities, and I get very disappointed. We talk about our issues and do our best to understand each other, but sometimes it can be very challenging to do so.

Relationships have never been my strong point and I am doing my best. I was wondering if anyone has gone through a similar situation or has any realistic advice for me? Thank you.

[Confusedinomicon]

Therapy to build communication skills and learn more about one another's disorders so you know how to effectively support one another.

Individual therapy may also help both of you so you guys can identify triggers and episodes before they happen so you can communicate when its happening/going to happen. That way both of you can prepare for whatever is going to come and be able to work through it. Therapy will give you that platform.

The last thing is helping him feel comfortable and letting him know that its OKAY to have triggers related to the PTSD. Learning about it and finding a therapist who has army experience/specializes in PTSD related to military experience will empower him to overcome the fear of shame that's coupled with "needing help." Try to get in contact with your local VA hospital and learn about support programs for their veterans. There may be groups, therapists, psychiatrists and other family-related groups that can help empower you and him to work through his PTSD. But remember to also get help for yourself and get your needs met too.

[Mid-Life-Larry]

Originally Posted by hertha13

I was wondering if anyone has gone through a similar situation or has any realistic advice for me? Thank you.

Hi Hertha, please ask your bf to visit a Vet Center. They are counseling/crisis centers run by the VA for combat vets.
I can honestly say, they probably saved my life a few years ago. Hope one is near you, and good luck with all:
Vet Centers - Locations