[N4B231012]

My boyfriend and I have been together for over 2 years, I live in Australia and he lives in New Zealand (we've met, he stayed with me for 2 months in 2013) today we had a fight over something really silly. In my mind i was right, i knew what i was talking about, i tried to calmly express how i felt and what i meant but it all blew up in my face. he said he was "tired of my bi-polar out bursts" i know he didn't mean it but it broke my heart. I feel like im failing our relationship, i'm scared that he will leave me and ill be left broken.

How can it be that he is always there, as much as he can be considering the distance, yet i feel so alone. We talk all day, we skype all night and i'm so alone.

I feel more depressed as the days go by. I'm slipping deeper and i am scared of myself. How silly does that sound, being scared of myself. but i am, it's one of my greatest fears. I can't control myself, i woke up this morning with a pretty big cut across my arm and i don't know how it got there.

i'm scared.

[CANDC]

Hi N4b231012, welcome to Psych Central. Sorry to hear you had a fight. Fights seem to happen when tensions in a relationship appear.

Sometimes people have too much of each other. A friend did a 24 hour time out and things got back to normal.

Depression is something that can take us by surprise because we have the outer trappings of happiness. You may find this forum of interest.
Depression - Forums at Psych Central

Do you have a therapist or psychiatrist you can talk to about this? If not, seeking out one would be safer than letting things slide.

The words you describe yourself seem to be saying I am in a serious situation. Getting help now could avert a more serious situation later.