[JosephR]

Emo rant letter to vent the drama, hopefully it does not see the light of the internet.

Every year, two weeks before my birthday one of my sisters will pick a fight with me that will last till one week after...Then she will ask why I did not buy her a gift a few months later on her birthday.

My parents, I know money is hard sometimes and my birthday falls on the day the credit card bills comes in. But B day paper with out santa on it would of been thoughtful, And that barbie you gave your oldest son that was suppose to be your daughters Christmas present was not telling in the slightest,

My paps, the week of my birthday I don't want to be cleaning up your mess's. I can respect he has all the give a damn of a terminal cancer patent on death row. And that's cool and its his right...But just because you can't motivate yourself to put new breaks on your car does not mean I will be happy to give up two weeks of food money to bail you out of your latest case of the stupids. This will cause feelings.

I don't want "i am sorrys" I am so sick and %$#@ tired of those words. If you are truly sorry then don't habitually do it in the first place.

So i spent the day in with my paps when he has his check up, between his diabetes and his attitude that all the things he should not do are a challenge rather then a guide line, Like the 3 packs a day and 5 or 6 dollars worth of sweets, And the habatual skipping of his meds...yea doc is about to take off bits and my paps legs look like kinda flesh toned blacktop road.
And all of that is cool so far, life happens and no need to be suprised. But when i get home and my sister asks she then tells me according to the latest studies that smoking is good for you, suger don't affact diabeties its just that one type, and these things can't be helped. and hadadhda da da da. I kinda wtfed and walked away at that point. but she followed.

so then the talk is the roomie down stairs. this guy tunes out anything he don't want to hear, And does his best to exploit even the most slight consideration extended to him...you know. leaving late. calling for early pick up then letting me sit an hour or so in the parking lot. never paying for gas. And keep in mind. he knows it is almost 45 minutes to drop him off. But he does not understand that it is that long of a ride back, Or that when he calls for a ride home that it will most likely take me that long to get there...And I have tried to explain this to him, And so has my brother But my sister tells me "you need to talk to him"
its like damn sister, It got to the point where i would scream at him for 20 minutes saying that i need to leave now or i will be late, But until i pushed my car to 140 mph and he had the thought that he could die due to the way my car was responding at those speeds he never gave a thought to leaving earleri. He even asked me why i never mentioned that idea to him before.......and she wants me to talk to him........da hell how?

and my sister, she defended the percived right of the other one to extort money out of me under the threat of slander and poorly photoshoped pictures of some of the worst stuff you can imagine, Because "well you don't have kids so you don't know what it is like" The illogic of that is so baffeling that I think i would need considerable brain trama and an acid trip to find a way to make that make sense.

yea my brother and i are moving far far away soon, wish us luck.

[kaliope]

definitely sounds like the type of family you would want to get away from. my family was really dysfunctional and the best thing i ever did was move away and never go back. good luck getting away.

[hvert]

Yeah, sounds like setting the cruise control on 70 and heading down the highway for 8 or 10 hours would be a nice birthday present to yourself! I'm sorry you have to deal with all that, it sounds annoying.

[kittybessie]

I moved to another country to get away from my family. Did wonders for the way I feel and how I relate to them. I realised that most of what they were doing was only a problem because I didn't tell them to go f**k themselves. Did that when I got back, and my God were they shocked.

As for birthdays, I have come to understand that birthdays are crap. Ignore it. I am guessing you are younger than me, and the older you get the easier it gets to dismiss it as rubbish, because, to be honest, nobody really gives a f**k about your birthday. Make your day nice for you; pamper yourself by going somewhere you like to go, have a meal you enjoy, read your favourite book. Do something for yourself. Never rely on others to do things for you, and if you do, stipulate, in detail, what you expect because they probably don't have the faintest idea. Asking you has never entered their minds.

[JosephR]

I can not believe i hit post on that. Normally those rants go to data heaven. sadly in my gene pool my brother the sociopath is the functional and trustworthy member of the family.

[hvert]

Hmmm, if he's a sociopath, maybe it's better to move without him Sometimes ranting about this stuff makes me feel better. At least it gets it off my mind!

[shezbut]

If your brother is truly a sociopath, you're merely bringing yourself darn farther by providing warmth & safety for him as well. My sister is a sociopath, and it has taken me a very, very long time to not give everything that I have to help save my sister.

It does kind of help that I truly cannot do it, but, I would have found some sort of way before. Honestly, I would have. I still believed in my family back then. Years later, I realized the truth. I cannot do it anymore. I just can't. Thankfully, my sister realizes that as well, and doesn't lay out full stories for me anymore either. I also never see her, and probably won't for many, many years. Occasionally, I hear how she is via e-mail of some type. The peculiar thing is how it's just like yesterday every time. And what matters to her is HER life ~ plain & simple. She doesn't give a hoot about me whatsoever. never has...

It still hurts. but, that's also the way that it is.